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Topics: Mental Health, Sex and Relationships
Anish Vij
A truly toxic relationship can be difficult to spot.
What qualifies as 'toxic' and is it really necessary to have other people question your relationship?
However, to go through the 10 common signs, therapist Jor-El Caraballo and author Carla Marie Manly, PhD, have attempted to break down the possible red flags you might be ignoring.
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1) Lack of support
Wanting your partner to succeed suggests that you're in a 'healthy relationship', Caraballo told Healthline.
But you might want to start worrying if everything becomes a competition, who earns more, who does more work around the house etc.
If you lose the support of your loved one in everyday tasks, then this is one you need to look out for.
2) Resentment
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Holding on to grudges can lead to 'frustration or resentment', which can 'build up' over time.
Not being able to be open with your loved might be a dangerous idea in the long-term.
Transparency is very important.
3) Willingness to invest
Let's be real, every relationship has its problems, but if you're both not on the same page and one of you is less willing to improve things, then that's not a good signs, according to the experts, and anyone with a bit of common sense.
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“This may manifest by an interest in deepening conversations,” Manly added.
4) Constant stress
This is a pretty obvious one, as stress is quite simply a killer.
But if you, or your partner, don't help each other to feel less stressed, then mental and physical problems are likely to arise.
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5) Lack of self-care
You've stopped doing those hobbies you used to enjoy and have instead replaced them with work/family commitments.
Admittedly, the older you get, the more responsibilities you have.
But to neglect your hobbies, especially for the sake of your loved one, is not good.
It's ok to like separate things.
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6) Walking on eggshells
Being scared to be yourself around your partner because you're worried what they might think could lead to issues longer down the line.
Manly said: “If only one partner is invested in creating healthy patterns, there is — unfortunately — little likelihood that change will occur.”
7) Shifting blame
As an adult you have to be accountable for your mistakes, but equally not to bash your partner if they do make a lapse in judgement.
Instead of saying 'it’s your fault', perhaps say 'how can we fix this?' instead.
8) Hoping for change
Hope isn't really useful without action.
If you want to change something in your relationship then do something about it, instead of wishing for it.
9) Lost relationship
If having a partner stops you from seeing your friends and family, then make sure you're addressing that, unless you don't want to see your friends or family.
Especially if your partner isn't letting you meet up with certain people.
10) Ignoring needs
Often at the start of a relationship, you tend to go out of your way to make sure your boyfriend/girlfriend is happy with upcoming plans.
Little things like letting your partner always choose what movie to watch, or what restaurant to go to, can lead to issues.
If you're having issues in your relationship that you and your partner can't fix, then make sure you chat to your local GP.