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Featured Image Credit: Kennedy News and Media
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Viral, TikTok, LGBTQ
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Emily Brown
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Viral, TikTok, LGBTQ
A gay single dad has found himself having to regularly explain how he fathered a child to people baffled by the concept.
Joe Blackman, 23, has received mixed responses to his single-dad status on dating apps after having welcomed his son, Daice Frank-Blackman, into the world.
Blackman, from Brentwood, Essex, shares his son with a childhood friend who he began dating when he was 15, before he told her he was gay.
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The 23-year-old knew he was gay 'ever since [he] was little', but feared coming out at school because he was already being bulled 'for being a performer'.
"I knew if I said I was gay it would have been worse. I didn’t want people to think I was weird so I suppressed it for a long time," Blackman said.
He met the mother of his child when he was eight years old, and as they got older their friendship grew to a point where they 'knew [they] loved each other'.
They decided to start dating and were together on-and-off for about seven years. Despite knowing he was gay, Blackman said he and Daice's mother 'had such a strong connection and were so close it was just easy'.
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Both Blackman and his then-girlfriend wanted children, and though Daice wasn't necessarily planned they ended up welcoming the young boy into the world, with the father assuring: "We're both really happy with how it happened."
Blackman now shares insights into his life on TikTok, and his status as a single gay dad has drawn a variety of responses both online and in real life.
He commented: "I don't think a lot of people get that I'm gay just from speaking to me, so when they find out I'm gay and a dad, they're just a bit like 'What the f**k? How?' I find myself explaining it on a day-to-day basis."
The father has also had some people branding him 'sick' for fathering a child as a gay man, but he made clear he 'couldn't care less'.
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"It's massively rewarding being a dad, my boy has made me who I am today," he said. "I was so down and my boy gave me the motivation to sort my life out. I look at life differently. I feel like I have a purpose and there's a reason for me to go out and work hard every day."
After Daice was born, Blackman and Daice's mother 'got to a point where [they] thought 'something isn't right'.' At the start of 2020, Blackman felt he 'needed to change [his] whole life around' and get to a place where he was happy, as he and Daice's mother 'were so unhappy'.
She asked him one day whether he'd date guys, to which he responded: "100%. It feels right, it feels right."
The mother was said to be happy Blackman was being 'open and honest', and the pair broke up in early 2020.
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"I think when Covid happened, it made me realise what was important. Life's too short to live it unhappily. It was an amicable split, it wasn't nasty or anything, we were really open and honest with each other. She's still one of my biggest supporters and my best friend.
"She was happy that I was honest with her, that I wasn't leaving to be with other girls, I just needed to be who I am," Blackman said.
The father is now looking to meet somebody, explaining: "Some people think I might have too much baggage, but I'm open about having a son on my dating profiles. If I started to talk to somebody and they didn't know I was a dad, I would direct them to my TikTok to make them aware.
"I've noticed that people always want to know every detail of my life. I'm very open, I see myself as a normal person but some people think a bit weirdly about it."
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Though some social media users have been critical of Blackman's status, he has also received a lot of praise for embracing fatherhood.