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Man Ended 19-Year Marriage For Polyamorous Relationship With Two Women

Rebecca Shepherd

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| Last updated 

Man Ended 19-Year Marriage For Polyamorous Relationship With Two Women

Featured Image Credit: Media Drum World

A man ended his marriage of 19-years to create a polyamorous threesome - which he now plans to turn into a 'Love Tribe' after admitting he's lost track of how many monogamists he's converted.

Shai Fishman from Newtown, Pennsylvania, is a passionate advocate of living an ethical non-monogamous lifestyle - more commonly known as polyamory.

Distinctly different from the 'swinger' lifestyle, polyamory places an emphasis on having multiple committed, emotional relationships.

Shai with partners Lea and Krissy. Credit: Media Drum World
Shai with partners Lea and Krissy. Credit: Media Drum World

The 46-year-old entrepreneur had been married to his previous wife Danielle for 13 years when he came across two TV shows about polyamory and this prompted Shai to explore the idea of having an open relationship.

After six years and several tense conversations, Shai and Danielle decided to give polyamory a go but after seven months, Danielle struggled with the emotional demands of the relationship.

Unlike Shai, Danielle did not want to share the nature of their relationship with the couple's children - and the pair separated in 2014.

Credit: Media Drum World
Credit: Media Drum World

Two years later Shai met his current partners Lea, 40, and Krissy, 41, on an online dating site. Surprisingly, both Lea and Krissy listed themselves as being monogamous and even indicated 'polyamory not for me' on their profiles.

But Shai wasn't deterred from exploring connections or opening the 'monogamous eyes' of women he's dated.

Now, Shai, Lea, and Krissy have an open relationship but for the most part, their core triad forms the basis of their commitment but each person has other 'connection-ships' with external partners, both emotionally and sexually.

Lea also shares Shai's passion to advocate for relationship freedom and together, they've created the online community, Leveled Up Love. This active Facebook group connects over 4,400 poly-curious people from across the world.

Credit: Media Drum World
Credit: Media Drum World

Shai said: "Whilst my marriage with Danielle might've seemed perfect by other people's standards, I was only getting the needs of safety, significance, and love. This is an all too common consequence of only having one option for loving which is 'monogamy by default'.

"Most people don't realise there's another option on the menu. We were together for around 19 years and things changed around 13 years into our marriage. I'd always had questions around monogamy and being with one person."

He continued: "I believe Lea had mismatched values with her ex-husband and I think there were also feelings for other people which her marriage didn't allow her to explore.

"I met Krissy five months after meeting Lea - both on a dating site. They both listed themselves as monogamous and ticked 'polyamory not for me' but I don't let that stop me from connecting. You never know how open-minded someone may be.

"In fact, I've probably dated more monogamous women than I can count and I've had many conversations and minds opened.

"If the majority of monogamous relationships fail, people inevitably have questions so they say, 'let's look at this other option'."

Credit: Media Drum World
Credit: Media Drum World

Shortly after his divorce from Danielle, Shai explained the concept of polyamory to his children but just like his community, friends and other members of his family, his children were nothing but accepting.

"I'm very open with the kids now. After we got divorced, I explained the concept of polyamory and alternative relationships and said this is what your dad is," Shai said.

"It just became their new normal. There are moments when they worry about what their friends might think but everyone's been nothing but accepting in our neighbourhood.

"Our family and friends have been accepting and in terms of being out in public, we're not overly affectionate but when we are, we get stares, but nobody says anything."

Topics: Interesting, Relationships

Rebecca Shepherd
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