You Can Name A Cockroach After Your Ex This Valentine's Day

You've barely shaken all the planning and gifting that comes with Christmas - and before you know it, Valentine's Day is here.

If you're in a relationship and are the sappy type who gets into this sort of contrived occasion, then it's an exciting day on the calendar. However, if you've recently had an acrimonious break-up, then it's easy to spend the day feeling bitter and empty.

Fortunately, a zoo is giving you the chance to do something meaningful this year.

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Hemsley Conservation Centre (HCC) in Sevenoaks is offering you an opportunity to let your ex know just how much of a total s**t they are by naming a cockroach after them - an animal that basically nobody on Earth likes.

This may seem like a bit of a petty and vindictive thing to do, and that may be true, but it's also charitable, so you shouldn't feel bad about it.

The zoo is asking for a £1.50 ($1.97) donation in return for the privilege, with the money going towards conservation projects at the centre.

But if the prospect of helping to preserve species doesn't appeal to you, then fear not, you will also get a certificate too.

A statement from the centre said: "The start of 2020 let's face it, hasn't been great... and if you have been dumped recently it is even worse. But now it is time to cast those negative thoughts and feelings aside and to put a smile back on your face!

"For those that don't quite require revenge, there's another way to make you feel better about getting back at your ex on Valentine's Day. The HCC is offering the chance to name a cockroach in honour of your friend's worthless ex- 'someone' on this special holiday of love for just £1.50.

"We are highlighting these creatures through our 'name a cockroach programme' (we think adopt is a little too strong, after all - you probably don't want to adopt your friend's ex) to raise money for our projects at the zoo.

"After your donation you will receive a downloadable certificate and we will include your ex's name on our roach board which will be revealed on Valentine's Day!"

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You can make your donation and send a pretty stern message to your ex here... although as the small print points out, only your ex's first name will be printed, so don't go sending through full names and addresses, OK?

Topics: Funny, Interesting, Community, Weird, Valentine's Day, Animals

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

@jakesmassey