Expert reveals 'playing pinball' method could be key to better sex life
The little-known bedroom method could change the game
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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community
Joshua Nair
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community
There's a new method to try in the bedroom which could drastically improve your sex life, according to an expert.
You aren't short of choices when it comes to mixing it up between the sheets, whether it be new sex positions or kinks you might want to test out.
While some experts have outlined things to avoid in the bedroom, sex and intimacy coach Hannah Johnson has shared a method which is apparently gaining popularity.
Known on social media as 'The Libido Fairy', she has opened up about the 'unspoken script' in place when it comes to sex, with the vast majority of us following the same sequence of events.
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Claiming that people believe there is a way intimacy is 'supposed' to go, the expert says she calls it 'riding the escalator', and it might be ruining their sex life.
The escalator theory is the belief that intimacy moves in a 'straight linear progression', the expert told Metro.
This usually starts with kissing, before progressing to touching, oral, penetration, and then orgasm, as Johnson said: "You start at the bottom of the escalator and feel like you’re supposed to ride it all the way to the top every time, whether you’re fully present, turned on, or not."
People have only recently been told that having sex around once a week is perfectly healthy in a long-term relationship, so you can't blame them for being in the dark about the 'pinball method' instead.
While many of us may be familiar with this method through media like films and porn, Johnson warned of it as the 'default pattern' in relationships, which may have an impact on desire.
She pointed out that predictable sex can affect women in particular, suggesting that couples have a go at 'playing pinball'.
The sex coach suggests moving towards pleasure-oriented intimacy, with the goal of letting go of the belief that every sexual interaction needs to include penetration.
By prioritising pleasure, you may pause in between acts, change direction, or bounce around different forms of intimacy - whatever feels best at the time.
The idea is that there's no real hierarchy, nor is there a finish line - everything is fun and you don't have to do things you don't fancy.
Some examples of 'pinballing' include switching between acts like snogging, oral sex, dry humping, using toys or hands, massage, cuddling, laughing, hydration, in any order you'd like.
Johnson mentions having a 'sex menu' of things you'd want to try, including any items you'd want to experiment with.
The expert explained: "It reduces pressure and expectation for performance or for things to go perfectly, and keeps you in the moment instead of zoning out on autopilot.
"This is how you create a fun and vibrant sex life."
She highlighted: "Research consistently shows that around 70 to 75 percent of women do not orgasm from penetration alone. That means the majority of women require clitoral stimulation, extended touch, and gradual build-up to experience pleasure and climax."