Sex expert explains why 'opposite of hotwifing' is becoming more popular as women share experiences

A sex expert has explained why the ‘opposite of hotwifing’ is getting more popular.

The trend has become a bit more of a norm for couples, but it’s not exactly anything new.

And yet those discovering it say the shake-up to their sex lives is not only helping to spice things up but apparently saving some relationships.

Basically, ‘hotwifing’ contradicts the whole ‘same penis forever’ narrative burned into hen do attendees' brains that marriage means you’ll only be sleeping with the same person for the rest of your life.

But just ask the likes of the Sister Wives stars or participants on Open House: The Great Sex Experiment, polyamory has been a thing for pretty much forever - just perhaps historically more one-sided.

So, welcome into the chat, ‘hothusbanding’.

Husbands can be hot too (Getty Stock Image)

What is hotwifing and hothusbanding?

First of all, let’s clear up what hotwifing actually is in case you’ve missed all that chat.

A type of polyamory that involves heterosexual couples, it essentially means the ‘hotwife’ has her partner’s consent to go and sleep with other people. They then get sexual satisfaction simply over the thought of it or by watching her get it on with someone else.

It’s of course worth noting out here that the whole key to this is consent. It’s vital that both people in the relationship classify themselves as ethically non-monogamous and are in agreement with sleeping with other people.

So, hothusbanding is obviously the gender-flip to this, with Google searches for the term and ‘hothusband’ sharply spiking within the last month.

It's less three in a bed but more a third in the room (Getty Stock Image)

What did the expert say?

Emily Thompson, relationship expert at PositivesDating, told the Toronto Sun: “Hothusbanding is a consensual relationship dynamic in which a woman - or a non-male partner - gets erotic arousal from watching or knowing her male partner is having sex with someone else.”

And like the hotwife trend, there’s big benefits to both in the relationship, with Thompson explaining why women may enjoy it in particular.

“Emotionally, it may increase feelings of security and sexual assurance - being aware that your partner is sought after by others but still returns to you,” she said. “For some, it can shatter routine, deepen erotic intimacy, or test boundaries that contrast with the social norms of exclusivity in committed relationships.”

Plus, it really subverts the stereotypical gender roles and throws off the power play as the expert added this is part of why it’s so popular.

“In the past, men have been accorded more sexual freedom and autonomy, with women learning to be the ‘gatekeepers’ of sex,” Thompson explained. “Hothusbanding defies such a trend by putting the woman - whether she is spectator or conductor - in the role of one who actively encourages or delights in her partner’s enjoyment with others.”

Women share experiences

Over the years, women have shared their own experiences of hothusbanding as one explained on Reddit that what started out as threesomes saw her 'taking breaks to sit back and watch'.

“I found it a big turn on! Now I have heard about cuckqueaning but I spoke to my partner about it and we both found it not to really fit us,” she wrote. “We then stumbled across hotwife'ing and thought wow this is more our sort of thing only not sharing me with another man but me sharing him with another woman.”

Others said they 'would love to watch my partner with another woman' as plenty claimed it's their 'fantasy'.