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Experts warn over red flags to look out for on first date that could signify toxic relationship

Experts warn over red flags to look out for on first date that could signify toxic relationship

Relationships experts have revealed the biggest red flags to keep an eye out for on a first date

Relationship experts have revealed the biggest red flags to keep an eye out for on a first date.

If you're looking for Mr or Mrs Right and not just swiping right for a brief fling, then there are some signs you should be looking out for to indicate whether a second date is on the cards or whether you should run a mile.

It may be the first time you meet them, but relationship coach Susan Trotter tells Insider it's 'important to pay attention' properly because people normally try to present 'their best self' - if the cracks are showing this early on, some of the traits they exhibit could 'become toxic'.

Here's how to tell if your first date is make or break.

You don't feel safe.

Founder and CEO of dating app HER, Robyn Exton, tells Insider one red flag to look out for is if your date wants to meet somewhere you don't feel fully safe.

That Tinder swipe who wants you to come straight round to their house? Alarm bells should be ringing. "If it feels unsafe or fishy, it probably is," Exton warns, advising to also tell a friend where you're going.

She advises: "I am a huge fan of a FaceTime or call before meeting — it makes the date less nervy for me as well and helps get a read on how someone responds to requests."

The first date matters more than you may think.
Pexels/ cottonbro studio

They're late.

It's simply not that difficult to show up on time.

Although, should yet another train strike occur and your date have a genuine reason for their delay, the least they can do is take a few seconds to communicate that to you via a quick call or text.

And if their phone's run out of battery? Well, s**t does happen. But as I always say, once is a mistake, twice it begins to become a pattern and a third time? Well, safe to say they're probably not worth your time anymore.

If they don't tell you their running late, they're being disrespectful.
Pexels/ destiawan nur agustra

They go on their phone a lot.

You've met up for the first time to get to know each other but you're not getting to know one another because your date is constantly on their phone or watching out for notifications.

If they pretend to pick up a call - their friend phoning them as back-up - and give an excuse to leave, they're definitely not that into you... we've all seen it in the movies.

Even if they're simply gazing over at their device or having a quick scroll on the gram, maybe it's time for you to get up and leave because they're clearly not that invested.

If they can't stop looking at their phone, they're clearly not that fussed about spending time getting to know you.
Pexels/ cottonbro studio

They 'bread-crumb' you.

Whether they're on their phone a lot, just not really paying much attention or checking out another person at the bar instead, if you find yourself vying for their attention it's a red flag.

Bread-crumbing is a manipulative tactic when someone makes 'you fight for their attention,' Exton explains.

She warns: "If you're finding yourself doing whatever it takes just to get a bit of their affection, check yourself."

You shouldn't have to beg for their attention.
Pexels/ cottonbro studio

They're rude to the restaurant staff.

Absolute ick. They clearly don't know how to treat people nicely when they're just trying to do their job.

Dating expert at Chispa Gabriela Reyes says: "While they're putting their best foot forward with you and trying to impress you, it says a lot about a person if they're treating others poorly.

"You being on the receiving end of that treatment at some point is likely."

If they're rude to waiters, run, run as fast as you can.
Pexels/ Kampus Production

They talk the whole time.

Not only does this scream self-absorbed if they don't ask a single question about you, but it could signify more problems to come further along in a relationship.

Founder of dating site A Little Nudge, Erika Ettin, warns: "While this may be nerves, it may also be a sign of a bit of an ego."

And talking constantly could be a sign of them trying to control the conversation too - controlling behaviour a definite red flag in a future beau.

They don't ask about you.
Pexels/ cottonbro studio

They 'love bomb' you.

Showering you in compliments, praise and gifts may leave you feeling like you've been swept up in one of those perfect rom-coms you see on TV.

But it can be manipulative and 'disingenuous and toxic over time,' Trotter warns.

Flowers and gifts are nice, but too much and it might be a sign they're love-bombing you.
Pexels/ vjapratama

They bring up their ex... A lot.

No one wants to hear about someone's sexual history or who they've just got out of a relationship with while on the first date.

Sure, it can be helpful to know where their head's at and a brief summary of what happened so you know what they want in the future and where you may stand, but constant name-dropping of their ex could suggest they're not over them, are holding onto the past and it's just a huge turn-off too.

If they speak negatively about their ex or previous sexual partners this is another reason to cancel date number two.

Whatever went on, they should respect their ex enough to not talk about them negatively.

It's also a warning sign they may not be the type of person who's able to take responsibility for the role they played in a relationship's demise.

Featured Image Credit: Pexels

Topics: Sex and Relationships, News, UK News, World News