I'm sure they could have just left him a 5-star review on Google, but here we are.
The artist responsible for the explosive ink session is 56-year-old Andreas ‘Curly’ Moore; a man all too familiar with the feeling of getting tattoos after covering himself in ink from head to toe.
Andreas got his first tattoo when he was 23, and over the years has added to his collection with ink drawn both by himself and other artists - a system that has allowed him to cover his body for just £200.
Based in Oxford, Andreas specialises in 'abstract freehand tattooing' which is often loosely based on tribal art from around the world.
“I have tattooed myself extensively, including a lot of work using two mirrors when necessary for areas like my ears and the back of my head. All my body is completely tattooed, except part of my face," he said.
The artist has had a lot of customers over the 30 years he has been tattooing, but it's the person who asked for a tattoo on their bum that sprung to mind when he reflected on his career.
“I had a customer who ejaculated when I tattooed him,” he explained. “I was tattooing his bum, and when it was finished he got up and the shop manager noticed an unpleasant deposit on the bench, which was weird and disturbing.”
It seems the customer didn't react violently enough to cause Andreas to mess up their tattoo, so it was really just the chair that suffered from the situation.
While that experience obviously proved surprising, at least Andreas knows what to expect when performing tattoos on himself. He actually considers all of his ink to be 'one tattoo', and over the years he added to his changed appearance with stretched ears and various other piercings, though he removed most of them by the mid 90s.
“I found myself increasing interested in tattooing, and wanted to cover myself," he explained. The artist has expressed a desire for 'not wanting to fit in with Joe public' and an 'urge to appear socially unacceptable', but noted that over the years tattooing has 'become much more acceptable and has lost some of it’s slightly dark and backstreet appeal'.
He admitted that some members of his family find tattooing 'distasteful', and he's had 'keyboard warriors' making negative comments about his work, but stressed it's 'not for everyone'.
“I am pleased to have tattooed a number of full body suits and some fairly extreme tattoos. I feel much less urgency to get tattooed, but I still get satisfaction from working on myself and others so I will continue to do so while I can," he said.
"Life is short, often pretty grim, so be kind but do what you want before it’s too late," he added.Featured Image Credit: Media Drum World
Topics: UK News