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While the age old saying of 'the customer is always right' might be true, one country pub owner is determined not to let them get the last word.
Roger Cazaly, who runs Plume of Feathers in Portscatho, likes to make sure that anyone can have a rant, just be sure to state the facts plainly.
One person who rated the pub 1 star, wrote on Tripadvisor: "Just popped in for some food, was told they were too busy. Said we'd just have some drinks, they basically suggested that go someone else. Rude, arrogant."
Well, well, well. Roger replied with: "Now now Kitty, it's not nice to call people names. But seeing as you've decided to go on the worldwide web and call me names like a little child who didn't get what she wanted when she demanded it, let's talk about your visit.
He explained that the night in question was a Saturday on a bank holiday at 7:30pm, which is obviously peak time.
Roger continued: "However, Kittyminx, (such a cute name) she comes to the bar with her children and says 'Chips, I want chips for my children'. I responded with an apology and said that's fine but there will probably be about a 40 or 45 minute wait and probably apologised again.
"You seemed stunned by this, so I went onto explain that we were absolutely maxed out and there will be a wait if you want to go ahead and order then we had that awful 4 or 5 seconds where you just blinked and stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language."
The takedown continued in the same hilarious vein before he signed off with: "When it comes to rude and arrogant you might want to look a little closer to home."
Another person decided to vent their frustrations about the Plume, saying that they were a 'local' and came to the pub for a birthday meal and was left disappointed.
The angry customer said they were on a table 'squeezed' near a passageway and the food was less than desirable. They added that it was bad that the pub didn't do anything nice for the birthday and the waiter was...too complimentary.
Well Roger didn't hold back with his reply: "When someone says they are a 'local', this is not to be confused with a 'regular'. When someone enters your premises and keeps dropping 'we're locals, don't you know' into the conversation, generally, they're not really.
"I would say that over 80 percent of our customers are 'real locals and regulars' so I'm not sure what the nasty little jibe about tourists means.
"We apologise that we were still busy in November and we had all our tables booked out...bloomin' locals coming in booking tables! We apologise that the waiter was complimentary towards you, he has been dealt with severely, he won't be doing that again in a hurry, oh no!
"Please tell me, what did that curry house in Peterborough do so wrong that you had to visit it seven times and slag it off every time. Did they not put candles on your naan bread? You should have told them you're a local!! Hold on, Peterborough? I thought you were a local down here?"
It's clear that Roger does his homework on these complainers before he uploads his savage replies.
Another group was annoyed when they popped into the pub before a wedding and were unhappy that alcohol wasn't being served until 11am. They added that the bathrooms smelt of urine and the landlady was rude.
Mr Cazaly hit back, saying: "You maybe alluding to the fact that we refused to sell shots at 1.30pm. We did think it a little early, and unnecessary. Now, the younger lot seemed to agree with us and said things like 'Sound' and 'Probably best'.
"Now, seeing as you had only been drinking Carlsberg (3.8%) up to this point and your behaviour was already deteriorating at a vast rate of knots, we feel we made the right decision on not serving shots at 1:30 in the afternoon.
"Eventually my wife had to ask you to stop swearing loudly in the pub as other people were coming in with children.
"I think it's at this point that my wife had the 'charisma bypass' because you then went into the loud heavy duty swearing. So then, instead of my wife asking, she told you to stop swearing, to which point she even had to get the poor father of the bride to ask you to leave because of your behaviour."
He added that they didn't even eat at the pub so his comments about the food being subpar were just an attempt to make the review look more legitimate.
Take a word of warning, next time you want to slag off a place, be prepared to take the criticism.
If you want to read more of his savage replies, head here.
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