Man Finds Out The Hard Way That You Shouldn't Tumble Dry Dildos

A man has warned people not to tumble dry dildos after he learnt the lesson the hard way.

London-based performer Cain, who describes himself on Twitter as the 'star of your incognito web browser', made the fatal error after one of his dildos managed to sneakily infiltrate a pile of clothes, which he subsequently banged into the dryer.

It was only when he came to unloading the washing that he realised the error of his ways.

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Yes, it turns out dildos turn into timid little alien dinosaur babies if tumble-dried. Who knew?

How he didn't hear the thing smashing around inside the dryer is another question altogether.

The 25-year-old - who is due to star in upcoming LGBTQ+ reality show Slag Wars - decided to share snaps of the deteriorated dildo on Twitter in a bid to warn others against making the same mistake.

Clearly, the plight of his £9 ($11.91) five-incher tickled people, as his post went viral, receiving 47,000 likes since it was shared on Saturday.

Commenting on the tweet, one person wrote: "Now I'm thinking what if all dildos were sold like this and you had to coax them into being normal sized lol by touching/talking to them?"

Another said: "How does one 'accidentally' tumble dry a dildo?"

Well, recalling how the dildo disaster took place, Cain said: "I had all my clothes in a pile in my room, I must have dropped the dildo on or in them.

"Then the next day when I was pottering around I must've shoved it all in the tumble dryer at once.

"I felt silly when I saw it, but I thought, oh well, I have more."

But while Cain is over the material damage, it's the fact that one of his dildo's went viral before his actual penis which is going to take more time to come to terms with.

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He said: "I think the reaction is so hilarious. I checked my Twitter the next day and saw a million notifications, I thought it was the Slag Wars promo image - and was like 'oh here we go, this is it'.

"Turns out it was my dildo.

"It's mad, I post a hundred photos of my d*ck online every week, but trust it to be my dildo that goes viral first."

Topics: Viral, Funny, Community,

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

@jakesmassey