Britney Spears has publicly sent out a series of audio clips to her two sons on Instagram in which she details her heartbreak surrounding their estrangement.
Last month, her ex-husband Kevin Federline revealed her two kids, Sean and Jayden hadn’t seen the pop star in months - claiming their mother’s social media activity had embarrassed the boys.
Spears’ 15-year-old son Jayden spoke out in an ITV interview claiming the relationship would take ‘a lot of time’ to repair.
The teenager also believed his grandfather, Jamie Spears, didn’t deserve the hatred from the media.
The ‘Toxic’ singer initially blasted the comments and called them ‘hateful’ and maintained she wasn’t ‘sorry’ for her racy public photos.
However, in her latest Instagram rant, she says her backlash should have instead been aimed at her father and she feels a ‘huge part’ of her ‘has died’ since not seeing her children.
In the audio clips, Spears says: “Since they've been gone, I've honestly felt like a huge part of me has died. Like literally, I have no purpose anymore. They were my joy, they were my everything ... that was what I lived for.
“And then all of a sudden, they were gone, and I was like, ‘oh my God, did my heart just stop beating?’ Honestly, I don't understand how it's just so easy for them just to cut me off like that. I don't understand it."
She then addressed Jamie Spears and the conservatorship he placed her in back in 2008 after multiple hospitalisations.
She continued: “Me saying ‘I'm a child of God’ is something I shouldn't have said to you guys.
"That's something I should have said to my father. I've always been told that the only one who can fix your heart is the one who broke it. Go to the source. But that will never happen, because I pray he burns in hell."
The 40-year-old explained how her excessive posting and sharing on social media comes from being forced to stay silent for many years.
"With my kids now, making the claims that 'she's not good enough, she wants attention,' yeah, I do want to be heard, and I'm angry," she explains.
"All I know is my love for my children is more than anything, and I'm sorry if I hurt you guys in any way."
She finished the recording with a message to Sean and Jayden.
"Until then, Jayden and Preston, I adore you. I was told you guys have blocked me. I hope you're using your punching bag I gave you.
"You guys are unbelievable in the gym. Happy early birthday. You guys can do pull ups. Wow. You're skilled in everything you do.
“I'm so blessed to even call you mine, and I just want you to know I apologise, my ignorance in saying 'so' to you guys — that was meant for my father."
Spears also revealed she had been going to therapy to heal from the isolation she experienced during her conservatorship.
Featured Image Credit: Britney Spears/Instagram
Topics: Britney Spears, Instagram, Celebrity
