I'll get straight to the point: I don't have a penis. But even without the knowledge of what it's like to have one, I know that if I did, I certainly wouldn't want the skin burned off it.
It's probably fair to say that most people with penises would feel the same, and would want to avoid such a situation at all costs.
But no matter how much he might have wanted to avoid it, unfortunately Channing Tatum knows what it's like to have burned d*ck skin. Ouch.
His injury came while he was working on a film, and considering we're discussing something below the belt, I'd imagine most people's minds would jump straight to one of Tatum's saucier projects: Magic Mike.
With all of that stripping and gyrating it would be understandable that Tatum would somehow get injured, but that's actually not the role responsible for his sore spot.
Instead, it's something a lot more innocent: the 2011 action-adventure film The Eagle - which, if you were wondering, is rated 12A.
Tatum takes on the role of Marcus, a young Roman soldier who wants to honour his father's memory by finding his lost legion's golden emblem.
As part of the role, Channing had to wade into ice-cold water in the Scottish Highlands - an unpleasant experience, but admittedly not one that should cause any burned skin.
However, the actor told Details Magazine: "The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your [wet] suit."
Unfortunately, during one of these 'warm up' sessions, the crew member had 'forgotten to dilute the kettle water'.
"So he poured scalding water down my suit," Channing said.
"And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the water went. It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my d*ck."
It gets more painful to read with every word, but thankfully Tatum has assured fans he's since recovered from the unfortunate incident.
Or, as he put it: "Now my penis is fantastic!"
"One hundred percent recovered," he said, adding: "Put me back in the game, Coach."
Tatum was well and truly put back in the game just one year later with Magic Mike, and hopefully he'll never have to suffer another work-related d*ck injury again. One is certainly enough.