'The Emoji Movie' Has Scored 0% On Aggregator Rotten Tomatoes: Sadface
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Being the man of culture and avid follower of the arts that I am, I can tell you that the highly-anticipated Emoji Movie began gracing cinemas earlier today and perhaps somewhat unsurprisingly, everyone thinks it's an absolute fucking pile of shit.
In fact, calling it a pile of s*** might be putting it a tad lightly, especially according to The Guardian, which went as far as to call it 'evil', but more on that later.
Credit: Sony Pictures
Within hours of rolling the movie out, the awful reviews were flowing and The Emoji Movie - starring Patrick Stewart, for some unfathomable reason known only to him - now boasts an impressive (albeit for all the wrong reasons) rating of 0% on respected online movie review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes.
The movie's remarkable score is based on 28 reviews and will likely change over the coming days...can a film go into negative percentages on Rotten Tomatoes? I suppose we'll soon find out.
So, we've established that The Emoji Movie is about as enjoyable as kick in the bollocks, but don't take my word for it; let's see what the critics had to say.
"Please restore my eyes to factory settings," said Johnny Oleksinski of The New York Post. "They have seen The Emoji Movie, a new exercise in soulless branding, aimed primarily at little kids."
Charles Bramesco of The Guardian went a tad further, but took away a similar message: "The Emoji Movie is a force of insidious evil," he wrote, "a film that feels as if it was dashed off by an uninspired advertising executive.
Credit: Sony Pictures
"However, the most disturbing part of this toxic film is the way it infects audiences with its ugly cynicism. A viewer leaves The Emoji Movie a colder person, not only angry at the film for being unconscionably bad, but resentful of it for making them feel angry."
IndieWire's David Ehrlich was similarly far from inspired: "Make no mistake," he penned. "The Emoji Movie is very, very, very bad (we're talking about a hyperactive piece of corporate propaganda in which Spotify saves the world and Sir Patrick Stewart voices a living turd).
"[It's] almost as Bad and Brutally Depressing as Everything Else in 2017."
The people of Twitter were also far from impressed, with some saying that they were pissed off just because of the fact the movie exists, without even having seen it....I have to admit, I'm of a similar mindset.
Instead of wasting money and time watching the #EmojiMovie I just read the plot on wiki and still got the same brain rotting after-effects!
- [email protected]#323 (@Silver_Slinger) July 28, 2017
I'm still pissed off that the #EmojiMovie actually exists :poop::poop::poop:
- Deathlord402 (@Deathlord402) July 28, 2017
I survived #EmojiMovie.
- Sidney Schering (@SirDonnerbold) July 28, 2017
7-year-old when he found out about the #EmojiMovie: That is so dumb, why would anyone make a movie about that? :joy::joy::joy:#EvenHeKnows
- Missy G. (@misstaline) July 28, 2017
If you still think you've got what it takes to sit through the this baffling nugget of digital-age pop-culture then you can catch The Emoji Movie, starring James Corden, in cinemas worldwide, right now.
Good luck and godspeed.
Featured Image Credit: Sony Pictures