They eat your food, leave skateboards precariously positioned at the bottom of your stairs and shag your missus five times - kids, eh?
Or at least kids on The Jeremy Kyle Show.
The kid in question, 18-year old Kenny, admitted to doing the deed with his dad's girlfriend, just the fives times. To make things worse, his dad, Wayne, had been with in a relationship with his girlfriend for 20 years.
Advert
To add even more salt to the wound, Kenny first visited Wayne's world on Boxing Day, a time of festive family cheer.
Despite all of this though, young Kenny did his best to defend himself against a bashing from JK and his foghorn gob.
He said: "I'm getting all the blame. She's living her life happy and I'm the one who's kicked out homeless."
Fair point Kenny, it does take two to tango after all.
Advert
Jez then probed Kenny, asking him to go into more detail about the first time - which undoubtedly is just what Wayne wanted to hear.
Kenny said: "It was Boxing night - I was absolutely legless and I fell asleep in my trousers.
"She woke me up and said, 'Why don't you take them off?'
Advert
"Long story short, she wanted a goodnight hug. When I done that, she's grabbed my head and snogged me. She had me in a trap."
Oh yes the old pounce on a teen passed out in their trousers and ask them for a goodnight cuddle trap - inescapable is that one. Though that trap doesn't really account for the other four times, does it Kenny?
Such an admission on any other programme would leave viewers totally astounded, indeed Phil Mitchell going to have a wank on EastEnders seemed to scar many viewers for life. But on The Jeremy Kyle Show, it's par for the course.
Advert
In fact, this could just be the most Jezza K story ever, as the pair were formerly reunited on the show, once upon a time. So they've almost completed the Jeremy Kyle circle of life.
Give it a year and the girlfriend will be on the show with a baby and a DNA test kit:
'Is the baby KENNY or WAYNE'S?!?!?! Find out, after the break.'
Topics: TV and Film, UK Entertainment