Psychologist explains how new 'pebbling' dating trend could have huge effect on your relationship

The chances are you probably don't realise how much you love 'pebbling'.

It's coined by TikTokers as the new dating trend that appears to be becoming more and more popular.

But with all these terms flying about like 'Rebecca Syndrome', 'benching' or 'Dexting', it can be hard to keep track.

These words usually have negative connotations, from neglecting someone who is interested in you or to texting someone so much without ever meeting up in real life.

Though 'pebbling' can certainly be a lot more of a positive thing, according to the experts.

What is pebbling?

TikToker @eggtartniwonwoo has since gone viral on the platform for sharing their interpretation of the term.

They wrote: "I was today years old when I learned the term pebbling.

"It's when you share memes, videos or links to someone to show you're thinking of them.

"It's like how penguins bring pebbles back to their little penguin loved ones."

Gentoo penguins, for instance, are known to be pretty flirty individuals.

As form of courtship, male Gentoo penguins give their female counterparts small pebbles, which they use to build their nests.

However, Samantha Burns, a couples counsellor from Boston, US, instead describes pebbling as 'those little things you do to go out of your way to put a smile on your partner’s face'.

“It looks different in each person’s unique relationship, but it could be as simple as sending them a good morning text if you’re in a long distance relationship, or coming home with your partner’s favourite dessert as a surprise, or sending them a funny reel on social media,” Burns told TODAY.com.

“What makes it special is when it’s very specific to the person and unique to their hobbies, interests, and beliefs.

“It’s a great way to show them you’re thinking about them, and also create your own inside jokes.”

Organisational psychologist Adam Grant echoed this, writing on X: "Sending memes, links, and videos to others isn't trivial. It signals that you're thinking of them and want them to share your joy.

"It's known as pebbling, based on penguins gifting pebbles to potential partners.

"Pebbling is an act of care. Every pebble is a bid for connection."

When you stop getting pebbled

Pebbling is great - until it isn't.

Relationship expert Gigi Engle told Metro: "Pebbling does have the potential to set an expectation of communication you’re going to have throughout your relationship, so that’s something to keep in mind.

"If you stop pebbling the other person may wonder what they did wrong."

Taking to the comments of the TikTok video, some viewers opened up about their issues, with one person revealing: "I stopped pebbling bc they weren't even accepting my pebbles."

"We pebbling for three whole months and he just ghosted me lol," a second wrote.

A third commented: "Some accept my pebbles, and some are not even want to see my pebbles. But it's okay, I hope they know it's more than a pebbles. Sorry not too sorry about my pebbling habit."

Despite the problems of pebbling, someone else said: "It’s also the act of giving any kind of gift that reminds you of someone! Like when you find a rock on the side of the road and give it to somebody cause you think they’d like it."

However, it's worth noting that dating expert Drew Wyllie warned that 'what is deemed sweet and thoughtful for someone, may be irrelevant for someone else'.