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Warning to singletons over 'benching' dating trend which is way worse than 'ghosting'
Home>Lifestyle
Published 15:13 10 Jul 2024 GMT+1

Warning to singletons over 'benching' dating trend which is way worse than 'ghosting'

As if dating in 2024 wasn't hard enough already...

Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper

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Singletons around the world, I regret to inform you of yet another dating pitfall that you need to be aware of.

Anybody who's been unlucky in love will tell you that trying to find a significant other in the age of dating apps and social media is a rough one.

Not only have traditional ideas of courting been thrown out of the window in the past few decades, but we also have a slew of relationship gurus constantly eventing a new slang term for every stage of falling in and out love.

Have you been 'ghosted' by the person you thought you'd clicked with on Tinder? Or is your partner 'cushioning' behind your back?

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And who could forget the fear of dating during 'cuffing season'?

The world of modern dating is truly a brutal place.

And it's not getting any easier either, with 'benching' becoming the latest nightmare scenario to avoid.

What is 'benching'?

Like the idea of benching a player in a football match, benching in dating occurs when someone puts another on the 'bench' - making them merely a back-up option while they pursue their first-choice.

Should something go wrong with their number one connection they can then sub in one of their bench options in order to avoid being completely on their own.

Now, you may be guilty of benching someone on a dating site or you may have been unlucky enough to have been benched yourself, which is a situation that no one wants to be in.

The person being benched can often be left wondering what they've done wrong. (Getty Stock Images)
The person being benched can often be left wondering what they've done wrong. (Getty Stock Images)

"'Benching' can be worse than 'ghosting' because the person is giving you hope and stringing you along for longer periods of time, rather than cutting you loose and allowing you to move on," Dr Sabrina Romanoff explained to Very Well Mind.

In a world where the majority of dating starts with swiping through endless amounts of profiles, it's understandable to see why benching occurs. It's easy to forget there's a real person behind a carefully curated profile after you've been sifting through hundreds of them.

However, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck to experience being benched, as the trend often leaves the 'benched' person wondering what they've done wrong.

Concerned that you're being benched by a potential love interest? Here are a few signs to look out for.

Limited availability

Do you feel like your romantic interest only texts you at awkward times, such as late at night or too sporadically to maintain a meaningful and fulfilling conversation?

Or perhaps you find it difficult to make plans with them, as they're only available on certain dates and times or they'll cancel at the last minute.

This could be a sign you're being benched.

No one wants to find out they're just one of many options to a romantic interest. (Getty Stock Images)
No one wants to find out they're just one of many options to a romantic interest. (Getty Stock Images)

Inconsistency

Not sure where you stand with a partner? Do they often blow from hot to cold during interactions?

This is another warning sign of benching.

One-sided interactions

Similar to the limited interactions, one-sided availability is another telltale sign of benching.

Examples of this are when you feel you are putting more effort into the relationship when it comes to initiating contact and arranging dates.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images

Topics: Dating trends, Sex and Relationships

Brenna Cooper
Brenna Cooper

Brenna Cooper is a journalist at LADbible. She graduated from the University of Sheffield with a degree in History, followed by an NCTJ accredited masters in Journalism. She began her career as a freelance writer for Digital Spy, where she wrote about all things TV, film and showbiz. Her favourite topics to cover are music, travel and any bizarre pop culture.

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@_brencoco

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