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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Ben Thompson
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
In the era of dating apps and talking stages, romance is never simple.
It feels like every other week singletons are being warned about a dating trend that may spell disaster for their prospects with the latest man or woman.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you that there is another one is to keep an eye out for.
And the name of this digital dating trend? Dexting.
Need an explainer?
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Dexting is essentially when two people have a constant stream of back and forth texting, but never actually meet up in person.
Hence why it's called 'dexting' - a combination of texting and dating.
The term itself was coined by Amanda Bradford, a dating expert and founder of dating app service The League.
Talking about the phenomena to Glamour Magazine, Bradford said: "It can make you feel like you are in a relationship, without having to actually do the work or spend the time required to actually form a true connection.
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"In a way, it’s also safer as you’re less likely to get rejected if you don’t put yourself out there in a real way, so these relationships can ultimately last longer than IRL ones, and it’s comforting to have someone you can text vs being completely single."
But what is the harm of dexting, exactly?
In a nutshell, it pushes you into creating an idea of who a person is rather than getting to know them in real life.
Bradford explained: "The psychological impact is that accepting and engaging in this dexting behaviour can cause you to form an unhealthy attachment to the idea of someone, rather than that person themselves.
"While texting is fine to build or develop a relationship, it should not be the foundation of the relationship, and spending hours texting someone who is not willing to spend the time to see you is not a good use of your time."
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Plus, you might miss out on real life romances because you're holding out hope that your texting buddy will turn into something serious.
So, how to ditch dexting?
Bradford advises singletons to limit their screen time: "A couple of texts to sense someone’s personality or vet them is fine- but don’t dedicate hours to a screen before you even meet up with someone.
"If you are going to text, make the texts worthwhile. Share your goals and strong opinions with your new connection to make sure you’re actually aligned."
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An alternative to the back-and-forth on WhatsApp? FaceTime instead, says Bradford.
It also cuts out that other dastardly dating trend - being catfished.