This Theory About Australia Not Even Existing Will Wig You Out And Then Some
I've never been to Australia, but I haven't ever doubted its existence. Until now.
Facebook user Shelley Floryd poses a lengthy case for the idea of down under not being under, or over, or anywhere. She says the country is a con at best, a very serious cover-up at worst.
"Australia is not real. It's a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It's a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires."
As an Australia virgin, this is my terribly cliche view of it. Image: PA
She even goes as far as to say Australians are "computer generated".
"Australia does not exist," she goes. "All things you call 'proof' are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They're all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
According to Shelley, the 'plane pilots' are in on this secret. Instead of flying you to Melbourne or Sydney, they fly you to islands close nearby "or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians."
She adds: "Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these "Australian" says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.
"Tell the truth. Stand up for what is right.Make sure to spread the world - Australia is not real. It's a codeword for the cold blooded murder of more than a hundred thousand people, and it is not okay. We will not, accept this.
"Stand up for the ones who died. Let it be known, that Australia does not exist."
Australia isn't the only country to have had its existence speculated. Finland has its own Reddit conspiracy.
I have tried to contact my Australian friends for comment but they are unfortunately either computer-generated, or non-existent. That's life, guys.
Featured Image Credit: PA