We've all seen some dodgy tattoos. I have two. One is an Arctic Monkeys soundwave and the result of a bet with my oldest friend. Let's just say I forgot I couldn't play pool. The other, I'm not even going to talk about.
But one plucky grandmother from Leicester has taken things to another level to express her love of the former Chelsea/Porto/Real Madrid and current Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho.
Fifty-nine-year-old grandmother Vivien Bodycote's love for the prickly Portuguese is so intense that she literally has her body coated in ink in homage to him.
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"I rarely go into town and not come back with another Jose tattoo on my body," she said. "I must have 20 of just him. He's not just the special one, he's the only one. I would die if I saw him in the flesh and for Mourinho I would cheat."
Fortunately for 76-year-old husband Tony, a retired concrete worker, this is unlikely to happen, because Jose is happily married. Then again, he is quite egotistical, so looking at tattoos of himself would probably be quite an appeal. Tony has spent around £800 of his pension on tats of Jose all over his wife's body. Poor Tony.
Credit: Caters
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But Vivien is blinded by love, so we have to forgive her. She went on to give an in-depth account of her melty-hearted obsession for Jose.
"There's not a day I don't look at pictures of Jose online," she said. "I'm addicted to Jose Mourinho. I get neighbours saying why don't you support Leicester and all I can say is that I'm in love with a football manager.
"If he quits Manchester United and decides to go and manage a team in another country then obviously I will say goodbye to British teams and I'll go there. When my grandsons told me he was sacked from Chelsea, Christmas was cancelled and we had no dinner. I just wanted to give him a big hug and say it's fine."
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Fortunately, everything turned out okay for Mourinho when he left Chelsea, as he got a massive payoff and eventually landed his dream job at United.
To make matters worse for Vivien, this summer the Portuguese manager hasn't been throwing covetous glances her way, but at the transfer market, with reports suggesting he's grown frustrated (no shit) at United's failure to sign anyone from a tantalisingly teasing list of players.
Never give up, Viv. Never give up. If Marouane Fellaini can gain Jose's affections, there's hope for us all.
Words: Ronan O'Shea
Featured Image Credit: Caters