Lad Sends Hilarious Complaint On Facebook After Getting Ball Stuck In IKEA Stool
A Norwegian bloke who got one of his balls stuck in an IKEA chair while showering had an awkward Facebook exchange with the Swedish retailer's customer services.
Claus Jørstad of Alta in northern Norway had to buy the Marius stool because of a knee injury which requires him to sit down while showering.
Unfortunately for Claus, the first time he sat on the chair, one of his testicles got caught in the chair's holes and due to the heat of the shower, expanded and so he couldn't get it out.
But he only realised the problem when he tried to stand up and found the chair dangling between his nads.
According to The Local, he started by describing his genitals as the 'skipper and two sailors' due to the Swedes not liking descriptions of genitalia.
"As you can imagine, the skipper is the captain down there, and the sailors are the two nuts that dangle," he continued.
Now, I don't speak fluent Norwegian but here's Facebook's translate if you want to read the whole thing in broken English...
Hey there! My old lady left me on the whole ræk søkksvære dokkers store, which was about as big as kjæften to neighbor when he stood to kjæfta on bag in the storm. Nåvæl, having traska on my bunion and worn out ullsokkan, so ended up making me to acquire the army lækkerbissken so h could rest while this y shower. Æ Testa it first in the store, with clothes on. Kjærringa meant æ may it beautiful dolls. Ho thought forøvrigen eskaperiet va that kind of thing to put on, the blomsterpåtta tøvsjura, but æ pointed nu on etikkætten who said "stool". then won the æ krangeln, for once. Væl Jæmme placed æ møbelemanget in the shower, and skritta in. Without clothes the army time. Y put my butt on the chair calm down, and sat dær while æ soap in my body. Including Popeye and his two båtsmenn. Like dolls lovely e popeye captain dær downstairs, and the two båtsmenn means nøttern that swing, but since dolls e svænsk and æ know dolls in Sweden not e so flippin ' happy in direct beskrivelsa of body forfruktningsapparat, so call to make them for skipper and båtsmenn . So, when it gets the soap on the deck, and captain with crew e as fortumla of skumføyken, yes then start them to slide like drunken sailors! (haha so dolls ka æ do nu, huh? Haha. Æ used a description of the sailors on the sailors!) Anyway, like I said VA it as smoothly as the dækk hårsleiken to neighbor when he was playing himself with trøkke brylcreem hair youth in his prime. Yes, sælfølgeli va it prime, for brylkræmen had high gloss. When did this happen kivinokka. One Bosun slipped ubemærka avgåre, and saw her chance to slip down into one hollet on the stool (see picture). That Army mærka æ not first, you know såm to use things to expand skyping in the heat. And when a batsman gets kokvarm, yes he'll åsså to stretch æsktra much. It army mærka æ æ shouldn't before trip me up, and that the stool mærka got stuck on my butt and dingla dær and æ felt a blissful smærte struck like lightning down in me. This freaking kommelpongen of a bosun was stuck in hollet! Y couldn't touch me, and didn't have time æ mobilteflon who was on the sink. And couldn't yell for æ kjærringa, for she had well gory, check that æ had amorous tanka if æ called ho from the shower. So dær sat æ. And Sat. And spikkulerte and tænkte and fundamenterte. Couldn't make to push up, and batsman not cobbler up in here about æ managed to trække he loose. So er sat there a little longer. Spikkulerte Having spikkulert for a while, it hit me that the er couldn't think of anyone goe idea. And would not destroy the stool æ either, because then you'd only kjærringa won discussion allikavæl and said it should've been blomsterpåtteholder. Æ dær sat so long that the water heater finally took over, and as you know, you know when the water heater takes over, it gets cold. Terrible cold. It was colder than the smile of my mother-in-law when æ poison me with her daughter. Since æ bynte to freeze, so at least that tænkte æ æ should at least try to keep warm while æ spikkulerte and thought, ah tried forsiiiiiiktig to strække me after hårfønern... and you vannvittige søkksvarte, guess ka! The cold had actually gotten it dærre bloated boatswain to krømpe again, with a fizz so va æ free man again! (at least off the chair, if not from the woman and mother-in-law). So, now have to make a question for dummies: Does hærran the stool in yellow color?
He tried to put cold water on his balls to try and squeeze them out of the hole and when he did eventually get free, he described himself as a 'free man again'.
IKEA eventually responded by saying: "Hey Claus. We recommend that you take the stool out of the shower... or that you sit on it with the right uniform on and in the right setting.
"If you choose to keep it in the shower, make sure you are well dressed for your next sea excursion."
Claus then posted a picture of him using the stool again but this time, he'd certainly learned his lesson.
IKEA then replied by saying: "It is so great to hear that you have so many good tips."
They of course then posted a link to their website for the thousands of people who shared the exchange to enjoy.
Let this be a lesson to you all: never sit on a stool in the shower that has holes in it. I don't know why that needs to be a lesson but evidently it does.
Featured image credit: Facebook