Dating expert of 45 years says all cheaters have one thing in common

An experienced dating expert has revealed the one thing she believes all cheaters have in common.

Infidelity, as awful as it can be, is said to be very common in Britain, with one in five adults admitting to cheating on their partner at some point.

According to a previous YouGov survey, men are more likely to have an affair with a colleague at work, while women tend to go for their friends.

Men are also more likely than women to cheat again, as 49 percent of cheating males admitted to doing it more than once, compared to 41 percent of cheating females.

But one thing all of these people have in common is apparently 'deadness', Esther Perel says.

The psychotherapist and author of Mating in Captivity and A State of Affairs said her research has shown that this horrible-sounding term keeps coming up.

'Deadness' is something many cheaters have in common (Getty Stock Images)

What is deadness?

Fellow dating expert Jess Matthews, who has looked into Perel's research, says that 'while the word may sound dramatic, it's actually the opposite'.

"It quietly describes a state that creeps into many long-term relationships: a feeling of emotional numbness, disconnection, and personal erosion," she wrote for Mama Mia.

"As to which comes first, that's a chicken and egg type complexity."

Matthews explained: "Deadness is something that we can experience as an individual (as part of a couple) or feel applies to the dynamic of the connection.

"It's the internal monotony that may come from routine, emotional repression, lack of novelty, or the fading of desire.

"Whilst you still love your partner deeply you'll be equally plagued by feelings that something is missing."

One in five adults in the UK have admitted to cheating on their partner (Getty Stock Images)

What deadness looks like

Matthews says that someone who has deadness is likely to experience the following four symptoms:

• Feeling more like friends

• Bored of their personal life

• Tired by always being the 'parent' or 'peacemaker'

• A lack of spontaneity and intimacy

'Deadness' might not mean that you intentionally want to hurt your partner (Getty Stock Images)

How deadness leads to cheating

The founder of 'The Boy Detox Course' said that Perel's research reveals that cheaters generally don't cheat with the sole intention of hurting their partner.

Rather than the feeling of deadness, people who cheat 'want to feel alive again'.

"From what I have seen infidelity most often comes down to selfishness, and by that I mean cheating is a by-product of a feeling of lack or insecurity within oneself," Matthews adds.

"Cheating is an escapism; it can provide a type of 'resurrection of the self', and also a deflection from the real issues at hand."