'Graysexual’ person shares experience as more people are coming out
A person who identifies as graysexual has shared his experience with the orientation as more people continue to identify with the sexuality.
The world is constantly evolving with new definitions for sexual and romantic preferences, and graysexuality is one of the most recent ones to reach the public eye, with an increasing number of people identifying with it.
Sexuality is, of course, a spectrum, and the graysexuality spectrum includes demisexual, which was brought renewed attention after former X Factor judge and I'm A Celebrity star Tulisa shared that she identified as demisexual last year.
She said: “I feel like I’m demisexual, I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone.
Advert
She later said: “I’m a slow, slow burner, I’ve been celibate for over three years.”
And now, sexuality and gender specialist Mark Cusack has opened up about their experience being graysexual, or grey ace, and how it differs from being asexual, on their popular YouTube channel notdefining.
They said: "Having the words to describe these different levels can be really helpful in helping us to communicate how we are and communicate our needs.
"So, the word grey ace is immensely helpful for me because it helps people to understand that, you know what, I do experience sexual attraction.
"I do have sex, I do enjoy sex and I do enjoy sexual things, sexual fantasies and so on, but I may experience them to a significantly lower degree than most people would."
Mark explains that he had a lot of anxiety and trauma after he came out as bisexual, and it wasn't until he was able to come to terms with his attraction to people of all genders, that he was able to realise his graysexuality.
He added: "It can be difficult for all asexual people but for me as a grey ace person, it can be difficult because first of all, people think that you don't have sex, and that's not true. It's really difficult to describe that to friends, family or people that you meet.
"It's also really difficult to describe that in dating life because people think 'oh wow he's not going to be into physical connection, he's asexual I can't date him', that's not the truth.
"It's just about the way that I actually experience it and so I often find myself having to justify myself or having to kind of overexplain it."
So, while the world often views asexual people as those who simply don't enjoy sex, Mark wants to challenge that notion, and explains that they do enjoy sex, they just don't feel the same desire to constantly have it as other people may.
They concluded: "Sex is lovely. Sex is really really nice. Physical contact is really really nice, I love it.
"I've been lucky enough to have some amazing sex in my life and it's wonderful but I just don't have that overwhelming urge, that kind of crazy obsession with it that I see in so many people."
If you want to speak to someone in confidence, contact the LGBT Foundation on 0345 3 30 30 30, 10am–6pm Monday to Friday, or email [email protected]
Topics: LGBTQ, Sex and Relationships
James Moorhouse