Mortician says there are five acts she will ‘never ever’ do after seeing death
Look, I’m not going to bother beating around the bush here, we’re all going to die one day.
Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s morbid but it’s the truth. No matter what mad stuff Bryan Johnson might be getting up to, it’ll happen to us all.
And once we do have our final breaths and speak our final words and our loved ones see us for one last time, there is often someone else who gets to see us last, the mortician.
Also known as a funeral director, this is the person responsible for not only arranging the funeral but prepping the body – embalming it and preserving it for public viewing.
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But sometimes, they can obviously unfortunately have their work cut out for them. And it seems this can have an impact on how they live their lives.
Lauren is a mortician who talks all about the ins and outs of her career, as ‘dark curiosity meets mortuary science’.
“Because death doesn’t have to be scary,” her YouTube bio explains. “But it is fascinating.”
And as a result of dealing with the dead, Lauren shared ‘things I will never do after working around death’ in a YouTube video.
Ride a motorbike
Explaining she isn’t listing this as it’s an ‘easy answer’ but purely ‘because of what I’ve seen’, Lauren will ‘never ride on a motorcycle’.
“The amount of broken limbs I have attempted to put back in place from motorcycle accidents... It's a lot,” she added.
“I know everyone thinks that won't happen to me. But it's not just about you. It's about everyone else on the road.”
Lauren also said that she often has couples as a ‘double fatality motorcycle accident’ or young people on ‘really fast bikes’.
“I will never ever mess with a semi-truck”
Ok, for us Brits, these are often called ‘artics’ those like front vehicles of a ‘motorised tractor’ and an unpowered trailer used to transport heavy freight.
And when Lauren sees them on a road, she’s ‘backing off’.
“I don't care how right you think you are. I don't care if they cut you off. I don't care if you're in a bad mood. You will not win that fight. The semi always wins,” she explained.
“I see people brake-checking semis, cutting them off, weaving around them like it's a game. That's insane to me.”
She recalled a group of college girls who ‘didn’t even look human anymore’ after a collision.
'Reckless' snowmobile riding
While she thinks ‘they’re fun’, Lauren said it’s important they are ‘driven responsibly’.
Mixing in alcohol, darkness and open bodies of water is where she’s ‘out’ having dealt with a bad case of couple who had a drink, went out on a lake and went through the ice.
“Will I ride a snowmobile? Yes. Will I ride it after dark, mixing alcohol, on trails I don't know over a potentially sketchy body of water? Absolutely not,” the mortician said.
Car surfing
Saying it’s ‘dangerously stupid’, she’s dealt with multiple cases of young people who have died after riding on top of a car when the driver has lost control or hit the brakes.
“I will not car surf. I will not hang out of a moving vehicle,” Lauren added.
“I will not trust that everyone around me is going to make the right decision in a high-stress moment. Don't put your life in your friend's hands like that."
Not wearing a seatbelt
The mortician said she has been on ‘too many calls’ where if the person had just worn a seatbelt ‘they would have lived’.
“I've had people ejected from their vehicles... we have to lift the vehicle and pull them out... knowing that if they had just buckled up, there was a very real chance they would have survived,” Lauren explained.
She genuinely doesn’t understand when people don’t buckle their children or themselves into their seat.
“This one is so simple and it makes such a big difference... Put your damn phone down. Your life is not worth a text message,” she added.
Jess Battison