Relationship expert debunks myth about sleeping with someone on first date as Valentine's Day approaches
A relationship expert has poked a few holes in the idea that having sex on the first date is bound to sink the relationship.
Valentine's Day looms large and if you're lucky enough to have things be going well in your relationship then by all means enjoy showering your loved one with chocolate, kisses and affection.
Every relationship has got to start somewhere and for every happy couple that'll be cramming themselves into an overbooked restaurant tomorrow (14 February) it began with that early encounter of nerves, excitement and tentative searching for 'the spark'.
The first date can be a difficult thing to navigate but if things go really well you might end up getting an invitation back to their place for a bit of... you know.
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However, you might be worried that doing so could actually be very bad for the relationship in the long run, and relationship expert Jeanson Benoit has talked about what you should do in this situation.
Benoit is a clinical sexologist, which is one hell of a thing to tell the careers officer you want to be when you grow up, and said that there were a few things people should know about sleeping with someone on the first date.
He explained that the solution 'lies solely with the individuals involved' and that if you are 'open, comfortable, and a consenting party to it' then you should feel welcome to go for it and enjoy a very nice night of doing the no-pants dance.
The relationship expert said you should stay 'within your personal boundaries' rather than setting 'hard and fast rules' about it.
Figure out what you want to do and are comfortable with, and if that overlaps with the person you're dating then feel free to go for it.
He said there was 'still a big stigma about people having sex in general' and this meant some people had rather clear ideas about whether or not they wanted to have sex on a first date, but found it 'encouraging' to see younger generations 'challenging these classic norms'.
The relationship expert also tackled the idea that having sex on a first date could mess with the 'mystique' of dating, saying: "I would say it’s quite a misconception because dating is so much more than just sex.
"Many people put sex on a pedestal and subsequently develop feelings of anxiety, fear, and overall negative emotions around the topic of sex.
"Sexual interaction is a form of expressing love (romantic and non-romantic), passion, desire, connection, pleasure, etc and it tends to be better suited as an ever evolving experience rather than a stagnant one within a long-lasting romantic relationship."
Ultimately he was keen to stress that on the topic of sex with a new partner the right moment was 'when you feel ready and it feels right'.
"If you meet the right person and you’re meant to be together, it doesn’t matter if you sleep with them on the first date or the eleventh," he said.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, Valentine's Day
Joe Harker