Nikki Glaser's admission about her unconventional relationship dynamic has left a lot of people weighing up the pros and cons of non-monogamy.
But before you dive headfirst into the world of polyamory, you might want to consider what this relationship expert has to say about the practice.
Some couples can 'reap several benefits' from opening up their relationships according to this dating guru, but she told LADbible there are a 'few golden rules' you should follow if you want to suggest it to your partner.
Glaser recently revealed that she has given her boyfriend, producer Chris Convy, the green light to sleep with other women - and admitted it gets her 'revved up' when he recounts his experiences to her.
Advert
The pair have been dating on-and-off since 2013 and laid some ground rules for this arrangement, including Convy being forbidden from forging an 'emotional' connection with the ladies he seduces.
Glaser revealed that it 'is not a two-way street' either, as she doesn't enjoy rolling around the sheets with just anyone...however, she 'likes' the idea of her other half doing it.
The term to describe this kind of set-up is 'hot husband fetish' and Claire Rénier, relationship expert at real-life dating app happn, explained what this means.
"The ‘hot husband fetish’ is when a woman enjoys the thought, or even reality, of her husband having sexual encounters with other women," she told LADbible.
"It’s common that she will encourage her husband to venture outside of their relationship for physical intimacy with her full approval, and will often enjoy the idea that she ‘has’ something that other women want."
As you can see, it's a bit different to conventional polyamory, as the female in this situation doesn't like to get down and dirty with anyone else - she just finds it a turn on when her fella does it.
Rénier reckons that these sort of arrangements can 'remove the pressure' people feel to be 'absolutely everything your partner needs' - whether that's physically, emotionally, or intellectually.
The benefits
Explaining some of the benefits that non-monogamy can bring, she said: "By exploring connections outside of your relationship, the pressure the primary partner feels will typically be lifted, which can create a more relaxed and appreciative connection at home. It would also reignite the passion within a relationship that may have cooled down.
"Knowing that your partner could go elsewhere to have their needs met but still chooses to come home to you every night could be a great ego boost, while still establishing a sense of autonomy and independence from each other."
Rénier also believes it can be 'a game changer for couples who have an uneven libido', as the person with a higher sex drive can then get their needs fulfilled.
"It removes resentment or pressure from the relationship," she said. "However, this only works if both partners are fully consensual and open to other parties, otherwise this can cause serious problems with trust and jealousy."
Even though opting for non-monogamy can be a 'powerful decision', the relationship expert warned it shouldn't be used as an 'attempt to fix a problem'.
"A successful non monogamous relationship also requires an incredibly strong level of trust and communication, and it simply will not work without this," Rénier went on.
"Those in more open relationships need to constantly consider their partners boundaries and feelings, as well as the more practical elements such as schedules and even sexual health.
"With this in mind, it’s crucial for these boundaries to be established in the first place, which forces any areas of tension or concern to come to light rather than having them go unspoken. Total trust and honest communication are cornerstones of any healthy relationship, and opening things up may make this even better."
So, how do you go about bringing up a contentious topic like this if you don't know how your partner will react?
Well, Rénier says there 'are a few golden rules' you should follow to try and ensure that you don't seriously p*ss off your significant other - and she reckons mentioning Glaser might help.
Listing off her dos and don'ts, the relationship expert said: "Firstly, never bring it up during an argument, and never bring it up in the bedroom.
Rénier's 'golden rules'
"Instead, I would recommend trying to test the waters gently, perhaps by using stories like Nikki Glaser’s as a conversational bridge. If your partner seems positive towards, or at the very least, not entirely against, the idea, you could frame the next step as a ‘what if’, as a way to see how they might feel about it.
"Remember that the first talk is just that - an opening discussion into what could be. You aren’t looking for a yes, but are starting a conversation that could take months. A top tip would be to frame this discussion as a way for you to keep things exciting and to explore some new boundaries. If they don’t seem into it, I would drop it and see if they change their mind with some time.
"It’s also worth discussing what you want to know about your partner’s activities. Some people may prefer to keep things entirely separate and not know any details about what their partner gets up to, while others, like Nikki, might want to hear every little detail - and even like doing so."
Rénier says she would only recommend opening things up if 'you are both fully happy to do so, and with some clear boundaries and rules of engagement'.
She advised people considering a dynamic like Glaser's to 'not rush into it', 'focus on communication' and 'make sure you're paying enough attention to your primary partner'. Aside from that, enjoy yourselves, folks.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Lifestyle, Originals
Olivia Burke