Son who went to Switzerland with mum so she could die by euthanasia explains how process works

Tom Beagley-Spicer was having lunch with his mum in 2015 when she told him 'I've had enough'.

At first he thought she meant her meal, but she explained she was talking about her life.

Tom's mum Susan had lived with multiple sclerosis (MS) for much of her life, becoming wheelchair-bound and losing her sight in one eye.

In 2014 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was treated but returned a year later and she invited Tom and his husband for lunch to tell them about her decision to pursue euthanasia.

Tom and his mum Susan, who told him in 2015 that she wanted to bring an end to her life. (Tom Beagley-Spicer)

Tom accompanied his mum to Switzerland to the Dignitas clinic where she was helped to die in 2016.

He spoke to LADbible about the process someone seeking assistance to die goes through with Dignitas, and explained why he believes the laws on assisted dying in the UK need to change.

Tom explained that he and his mum went out to Switzerland for five days, during which time there were multiple consultations with an independent doctor, while the process cost her around £12,500.

"They keep it so separate so that nobody is being coerced in any way," he explained of the need for an independent doctor.

Before reaching Switzerland, Dignitas had several other requirements such as his mum's family history and medical records.

"We had to lie"

Tom praised Dignitas for having 'a process with so much safeguarding', and would support the same being available in the UK. (Tom Beagley-Spicer)

He said: "We had to go to the dentist and we had to ask for her dental records because that's one of the things that Swiss law asks for.

"So it was like, 'Why do you need this information?' We're like, 'Oh, she's just doing some medical trial'. And then going to the doctors to ask for the medical file.

"We had to do it under Freedom of Information because they just were asking too many questions. We had to lie.

"That's what made it so hard, we were doing something so right for mum but the world was telling us we were doing wrong."

Tom described the process of his mum's final moments as 'the most beautiful but most hardest thing to witness and to go through'.

Because of the UK's assisted dying laws, Tom's mum Susan died 'in a room she didn't know' instead of at home with her cat. (Tom Beagley-Spicer)

On Susan's final day she was given some medicine to settle her stomach and time to sit in the garden before being given her final medicine.

"I told her I loved her and she slipped away"

As MS could lead to some difficulties with chewing and swallowing, Susan had been practicing with gin in the days before.

"She necked it back, they say 'do it in one'," Tom explained of the moment his mum took the medication that would end her life.

“At that point I thought 'oh, she's gonna say something really loving, caring and like I love you son'.

"She turned around and said, ‘Oh, it tastes just like fish food’. It was mum being mum, and then quite quickly within 30 more seconds she told me she loved me, I told her I loved her and she slipped away."

Tom held his mum's hand on her final night. (Tom Beagley-Spicer)

"The law is causing suffering"

Tom is supporting calls for a change to the assisted dying laws in the UK, urging politicians to 'bring back some kindness' and take away the cruelness of the current laws'.

He said: "The law is causing suffering, it is causing people to die in the most painful way and it's got to stop.

"I think we need a model that supports terminally ill people in a safe way like Switzerland have with the independent doctor visits, the need for paperwork.

"It’s a very lonely, scary process and I had to come back to the UK thinking ‘am I about to be arrested’.

"Palliative care has such an amazing, strong place in the community but for some people it is not enough and they want to have the death they deserve and desire."