Scientists have given a definitive answer on whether 'size matters'
Scientists have finally answered the question that all blokes are asking. Does size matter?
Whether you've got a David or a Goliath, it's simply part of growing up that you question whether or not your member is a normal shape or size.
Pornography has done irreparable damage when it comes to having a healthy body image and perhaps the Online Safety Bill means that the youth of today won't grow up comparing their perfectly normal-sized d***s to some of the frankly ridiculous ones you see online.
When you're younger, there's an assumption that bigger is always better.
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Doctors are constantly sharing information about which body part we should look at to figure out someone's size, or the age when our crown jewels stop growing and start to shrink, but now they've finally answered the question most lads have anxiously asked themselves at some point with some cold, hard facts.
What is the average penis size?
For those of you wondering, the average size of an erect penis is thought to be between 5.1 and 5.5 inches, while it drops to 3.6 inches when flaccid.
But this figure varies significantly depending where in the world you're looking.
According to World Population Review, the country with the largest penises in the world is Sudan, with an erect length of 7.1 inches - though this is self-reported.
In bad news for Brits, the UK is 78th in this list, with an average erect length of 5.6 inches.
Thailand reportedly has the smallest penises out of the 147 countries listed, with an erect length of 3.7 inches.
Does penis size matter in the bedroom?
One study of 52,031 heterosexual men and women found only 55 percent of men were satisfied with the length of their penis. About 45 percent wanted to be larger, while just 0.2 percent wanted to be smaller, which you might think is crazy, until you hear the story of the man with the biggest in Britain.
But it turns out these blokes don't actually need to be worried.
The same study found 85 percent of heterosexual women say they are satisfied with their partner’s penis size.
A separate 2010 study of 1,065 men who had sex with men found there was no link between penis size and the number of sexual partners they had. They were also more happy with their penis size than their heterosexual counterparts, with 65 percent saying they were satisfied.
So there you have it - you don't need to have a big shaft to be a master of your craft, or an amazing ding-a-ling to make your partner sing.
Blokes' anxiety about their own size is probably the real thing affecting their performance in the bedroom, whereas being confident in your own skin is something that is always going to be sexy to any prospective sexual partner.
Naturally, those with a micropenis might feel like they are at a natural disadvantage in the bedroom but at the end of the day it's not how big your willy is, but how big your heart is.
And if you're still struggling with keeping your partner happy, then remember that you've got plenty of other tools at your disposal.
No matter what your situation, don't click on the dodgy links from enlargement emails, you'd be much better off speaking to a doctor.
James Moorhouse