It's Official, England Are DEFINITELY Going To Win The World Cup
It's that time again - England have got themselves underway at the World Cup with a late stoppage time win against a mediocre opponent and that can only mean one thing - dust off the shelves in the trophy cabinet, break out the champagne, England are DEFINITELY going to with the 2018 World Cup.
Yes, that's right, England's victory over the mighty Tunisia has pretty much guaranteed that they will now continue on to sweep all before them and ease their way to a second World Cup triumph and a first since 1966.
This is made all the more certain by the fact that everyone else seems to be struggling to get started too.
Of all the big sides who could have maybe stopped the Three Lions' inevitable march to the title, Brazil have dropped points against Switzerland, Argentina fell afoul of the Icelandic side's organised Viking style, and Spain and Portugal cancelled each other out - those Iberian mugs.
Oh yeah, and the Germans got beat by Mexico.
Out of the main contenders, only France made a winning start. They even made it look like hard work against a workmanlike Australia team.
Of course, Belgium thumped England's next opponents, Panama, today, but they've got Roberto Martinez, and he couldn't even manage a team that had the talents of both Phil Jagielka AND Arouna Kone.
Obviously, there is a lot of football to be played yet, but a quick glance online will reveal to anyone that cares that it really is a foregone conclusion.
One tweet (even before the game) read: "After watching that game I've truly fallen into the "deluded c*** trap " were gunna f***ing win it "
Even the celebs are getting involved. England cricketer Jonny Bairstow said: "Think we are going to win the World Cup!!"
Think we are going to win the World Cup!! #ItsComingHome #england :grimacing:
- Jonny Bairstow (@jbairstow21) June 18, 2018
It didn't stop there either. Some of these folk better HOPE that England don't win it, for their own good.
If we win the World Cup I'll get a tattoo of Gareth Southgate on my chest. #ItsComingHome
- Albert Toulson (@AlbertToulson) June 17, 2018
if england win the world cup, I, as an arsenal fan, will get harry kanes face tattooed somewhere on my body #ItsComingHome
- j (@jxmeshxndley) June 18, 2018
Well, that makes the next four weeks a lot simpler. You can re-invite yourself to the wedding, and un-cancel that trip to B&Q with the wife. You can book a week's holiday safe in the knowledge that you will return in time for the victory parade in mid-July.
You heard it here first - England are now definitely going to win the World Cup.
Unless, just maybe, this is all bollocks and they have only won one game.
They could still very feasibly lose to Panama and Belgium before crashing out of the tournament. Bear that in mind before you rush out to get that tattoo.
Featured Image Credit: PA