Man Says He 'Dated' A Cockroach For A Year
With Valentine's Day hurtling towards us at a rate of knots, now is the time many of us start looking at the sorry state of our own love lives or maybe you're one of the lucky loved-up ones.
Either way, one thing is for sure, it's unlikely your relationship history will match up to Yuta Shinohara's, who dated a cockroach for around a year.
Yup, the 25-year-old Japanese man opened up about his unusual relationship with his very own love-bug while speaking to media outlet Asian Boss.
Yuta, who is reportedly a familiar face on the insect-eating circuit in Japan, said that he initially bought the African farm-reared bug to eat, but that his desire to chow down on the roach took a back seat as he began to build a bond with her.
He called Lisa his 'first love' and says the pair were so close they could even communicate.
The cockroach-loving Casanova says while the relationship was platonic, he did fantasise about having sex with the roach, swapping between imaging himself as insect-sized or her as human-sized. Human-sized cockroach? No thank you, sir.
Sadly, like most of history's most well-known love stories this one ends in tragedy, as Lisa died.
More Like This
And what did our heartbroken romantic hero do next? Sink into a deep, dark sadness? Give his former flame the proper burial she deserved? Nope. He ate her.
Explaining the odd move, Yuta said: "So now Lisa lives in my heart and continues living as part of my body." Can you feel the love?
Yuta is an entomophagist, meaning he eats insects as a more environmentally-friendly alternative to animal-meats, which is highly commendable. However, the whole wanting to fuck a human-sized cockroach is slightly harder for me to get my head around.
He went on to explain that there is a wide variety of flavours available from eating bugs, adding that caterpillars taste like rice cake. Lovely.
And if all of this talk of creepy-crawlies has got you thinking of your previous partners, you might be pleased to know that a conservation society is allowing folks to name a cockroach after their ex for Valentine's Day. Romantic.
For just £1.50 you can name one of the six-legged critters after your appalling ex partner and do your bit for charity, because all money raised from the project will help to fund projects at the Hemsley Conservation Centre in Kent.
If you fancy it, you can click here. Let's hope Yuta gets himself one in memory of Lisa.
Featured Image Credit: AsiaWire