'Typical Brit' scared of confrontation has no idea how to deal with couple dogging on their street
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Brits aren't exactly known for their love of confrontation, so you can only imagine how one person felt when they had to deal with a couple dogging on their street.
Probably the last thing someone wants to be faced with first thing in the morning is a full-on sex show on their front doorstep - especially when, in this case, they're blocking your car.
This was the unfortunate predicament facing Redditor u/thequeenoftheandals, who took to the forum to ask for advice on what to do about the early morning shaggers.
Describing how the couple 'come here rain or shine' (guessing the pun is intended) at 7.50am outside their St Albans home, they wrote: "Their windows are not tinted.
"You can see all - and I mean all - the guy has an unremarkable penis and the woman has a lopsided left breast."
We only included this sentence as it will become the doggers' nicknames moving forward.
In their call for help, the Redditor explained that they 'just want them to stop', but being 'quintessentially British' was making it very difficult to confront them.
"I don’t want to have to knock on their window whilst unremarkable penis is mid thrust to lopsided tit, with my bowl of Weetabix in hand, and ask them to f**k off," they said.
"I just want them to f**k off without them knowing it’s me."
The post has of course since gone viral, with thousands of people taking to the comments section, including some who described it as 'typical Brit' behaviour - and totally relatable.
Top comment goes to this Reddit user who suggested: "This calls for passive aggressive politeness. Wait till they finish then take them cups of tea," to which another said, "Don't forget the biscuits."
"Put up a 'No Ball Games' sign," quipped another, while a third added: "Do the weetabix option, and take a video."
Others were more concerned about the situation, leading u/thequeenoftheandals to reveal that they are taking it seriously and had since put a sign up and called the police.
In an edit on their original post, they revealed that their husband and neighbour Dave decided to confront the couple - and let's just say it didn't go down too well.
"Unremarkable (man) got massively annoyed," they said. "Wasn’t embarrassed at all for being called out, but seemed vexed he got called dirrrty."
Eventually the husband and Dave left and the Redditor decided to call the police, who turned up just as the couple had left.
However, officers agreed to do another drive by the next morning while also suggesting that they install a dummy camera in case 'new visitors' were tipped off about the space by the former doggers.
The Redditor concluded: "I live such a sheltered life; I didn’t even consider there could be a whole underground dogging network sharing dogging deets in St Albans! Mad!!"
Well, I think we've all learned a lesson here - sometimes it's best to just confront a situation head-on (even if it does lead to unwanted knowledge of the UK's underground dogging network).