Christmas is over for another year boys and girls, and now you're on a comedown from the saccharine nature of the holidays, it's time to take stock of your life and evaluate where you're at.
We're now in a period known to some as 'Betwixtmas', the time between Christmas and New Year where lots of people have the time to think about how the year went ahead of making some resolutions.
A major aspect of many people's lives (if they have a partner) is their relationship, and whenever one starts it's inevitable that you're going to be thinking about where things will end up.
According to relationship coach Brett Parker, there's one trait you need to be on the lookout for in your relationship which he says gives you a '94 percent' chance you'll break up.
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He explained that this idea came out of a study from relationship experts Dr John and Dr Julie Gottman, who have also broken down the 'four horsemen' of divorce which signal that a marriage won't last beyond five years.
As for this one trait which apparently signals a breakup is on the cards, Brett took to TikTok to deliver a video from his car (as many people on that platform do for some reason) and explained that the Gottmans studied a set of couples for 14 years.
"They found that they way that they argue accurately predicts whether they stay together or whether they get divorced," the relationship coach explained of the 1992 study results.
"The one thing that determines this entire outcome is if you argue to win or to understand.
"So when you're arguing with your spouse or your girlfriend or your boyfriend are you trying to win the argument, or are you trying to understand their point of view?"
As you can probably guess, 'arguing to understand' is the winning move if you want to keep a relationship together whereas couples who were each 'arguing to win' would probably not work out in the end.
Remember folks, if you're having an argument with your partner and your goal is to win then you're probably going to lose in the long run.
According to The Gottman Institute, about two-thirds of all arguments were perpetual, meaning that getting your partner to acknowledge the correct way to place spoons on the drying rack is your way is all well and good for a while, but it can easily fester into something that plops your relationship into the dreaded 94 percent zone.
They add that while it doesn't always necessarily mean the relationship is doomed, it can mean the relationship 'has a hope they hadn’t previously imagined', therefore the best course is perspective.
As for the Gottmans and their 'four horsemen' signs to look out for in case a couple is headed for divorce, those are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
In another case from them, the relationship experts said there was a specific situation where cheating could technically help a relationship.
Apparently if the person who cheats on their partner can recover their relationship and get help it can actually work out in the long run, though really it's the 'getting help' part that actually improves things.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, TikTok
Joe Harker