Every Couple Has A 'Turtle' And A 'Hailstorm' In Relationship, Says Therapist

A sex and relationship therapist has explained how every couple has a 'turtle' and a 'hailstorm':

Dr Joe Kort claims there's always one person who will avoid conflict or keep things to themselves and another person who is more likely to react to things.

Also, if you're reading this thinking 'I'm so calm and chilled, I'm not the problem here,' apparently you might be because, according to Dr Kort - 'turtles' can turn into 'snapping turtles'.

The therapist has posted a video to his TikTok account breaking down the two roles. Up to now, it has been watched nearly 990,000 times with over 152,000 likes and more than 3,000 comments.

In the clip, Dr Kort says: "Are you a 'turtle' or are you a 'hailstorm' in your relationship? Every couple has a turtle - this is a minimiser, somebody that doesn't like to have a lot of conflict, keeps a lot to themselves.

"And every couple has a hailstorm, where somebody who is a maximiser and everything is a big deal and lots of emotionality, lots of reactivity."

TikTok/drjoekort

He goes on to add: "When I do couple's workshops and I work with couples, every couple can say which one is the turtle and which one is the hailstorm. Turtles always feel like they're superior because they don't have this big reactivity in acting out.

"But the truth is turtles can become snapping turtles. The more the turtle turtles and goes inside his shell or her shell, the more the hailstorm hails.

"The more the hailstorm hails, the more the turtle goes into their shell. The solution is for the turtle to not minimise so much and extend it's limbs.

"The solution for the hailstorm is that not everything requires a big barrage of hell on the minimising partner."

It didn't take long for people to prove Dr Kort right and start to admit which 'thing' they are. One person wrote: "Oh God... I'm the hailstorm."

Someone else suggested it's only men that are turtles, while another person wrote: "It's hard not to be a hailstorm when he lacks common sense."

A third pointed out: "Can we just address how difficult it is for a turtle to come out of its shell during a hailstorm though."

So, there we have it. But what happens if you've got two turtles? Or two hailstorms? Or a throuple? Maybe even a turtlestorm? We've got questions that need to be answered here.

Topics: Viral, Relationships, Community

Rebecca Shepherd

I'm Becky - a journalist at LADbible. I graduated with a First Class BA in Journalism before going on to cover criminal court cases, medical tribunals and breaking news for the national media - which inevitably and eventually became as glum as it sounds. Can often be found rocking a bag for life - which I made a 'thing' way before Rihanna. You can contact me at [email protected]

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