Relationship therapist reveals the one green flag trait that makes you instantly more attractive
It's fair to say most people go out of their way to make themselves more attractive.
You can splash hundreds of pounds on makeup, clothing, or beauty treatments to improve your appearance, but it doesn't guarantee that you're going to have admirers falling at your feet.
Rather than focusing on how you look, you might be better off concentrating on what's on the inside instead - as according to this relational psychotherapist, there is one trait that instantly makes you ten times more attractive to people.
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Claire Law, a counsellor and relational psychotherapist, reckons that this certain quality is a brilliant 'green flag' on first dates which screams 'I'm comfortable in my own skin' to the person on the other side of the table.
So, what is the mystery characteristic which will ensure that your date is drooling over you?
According to Claire, it's self-assurance - which means you are confident in your own abilities, character, and what you can bring to the relationship without being cocky about it.
She told Metro: "Who wouldn’t want a partner like that? Someone who’s not constantly seeking validation or approval. A self-assured partner won’t be clingy or needy - they’ll have their own thing going on, which is really sexy."
The psychotherapist and writer explained that this gets other people going because it subconsciously suggests that you may also have a load of other positive qualities which people look for when trying to find love.
"These other qualities are emotional maturity, stability, and resilience," she continued.
"If you’re self-assured, you’re probably pretty good at managing your emotions, coping with stress and making decisions.
"These are all things that make for a solid, healthy relationship.
"Self-assurance is such an attractive quality because it telegraphs a certain attitude to the world.
"Self-assured people tend to be more at peace with themselves… they’ve made their peace with their strengths and weaknesses."
But how can you translate all of this stuff to your date without spelling out the fact you are self-confident?
How to show more self-confidence
Claire suggests that you should make this clear from the very first moment you see the person you are meeting - so you could bound over and give them a hug or kiss on the cheek, without even thinking twice about it.
"Stand tall, make eye contact, smile warmly. Don’t fidget or cross your arms - that makes you look closed off and nervous," she explained.
Follow up from there with some 'balanced conversation', once you've got the pleasantries out of the way.
The relational psychotherapist reckons you should ask plenty of questions while also sharing lots about yourself, as a 'self-assured person isn't afraid to open up'.
Adding: "Be decisive. If your date asks for your opinion on something, give it. Don’t hem and haw or say 'I don’t know, what do you think?' all the time.
"Be willing to respectfully disagree. If you have a different opinion, voice it calmly and confidently. A self-assured person can handle a little friendly debate.
"Order what you want, not what you think your date wants you to order. Speak up if you’re uncomfortable."
But just remember if you're using Claire's advice on your next date - there's a fine line between self-confidence and vanity.
She said: "It’s about being true to yourself and communicating that authentically. Self-assurance isn’t about putting on an act or being arrogant.
"It’s about knowing your worth and embodying that in how you carry yourself and interact with others.
"And in the the wild world of dating, that kind of quiet confidence is incredibly appealing."
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Olivia Burke