‘Breadcrumbing’ relationship trend that can be seriously toxic and make you want to stop dating
It's almost impossible to date these days without thinking you're a part of some social experiment, considering the many trends and various coloured flags prospective partners have to navigate.
But despite all the terrible dates or TikTok dances folks have to persevere through, hopeless romantics never give up on finding the one (or several) for them, with modern dating views certainly more welcoming to the concept of throuples and open relationships.
However, even in the hope of finding that one green flag in a sea of red, some are now giving up on dating entirely after being forced to endure a particularly toxic trend known as 'Breadcrumbing'.
Which modern dating trends are popular right now?
It's crazy to think that folks used to get by without the likes of Tinder and Hinge, simply meeting at a bar or a bookshop and deciding to spend the rest of their lives together.
And they certainly seemed to have it better as they avoided the TikTok and post-Covid era of dating, which includes things like the Bob the Builder trend - where people invite dates round to their home with the sole intention of getting something fixed.
Advert
Don't get me started on hotwifing, where men are renting their beloveds out for other men's pleasure, while they presumably sit in what has universally become known as 'the cuck chair'.
When it comes to texting, there's also loads of inventive ways people have come up with in order to ghost the person they don't want to talk to, while others now believe that being kissed on the forehead is a sign you're about to never see your partner again - which is wild.
What is 'Breadcrumbing' and why is it toxic?
Although it worked for Hansel and Gretel, breadcrumbing is rarely a sign of success when it comes to relationships, as it sees one person text another person just enough information to keep them interested.
The occasional flirty text, a like on your Instagram post, or false promises of meet-ups must mean that they still like you, right? Well apparently not, as it's likely these breadcrumbs of affection are simply to keep you around, in case it all goes south with another person they're texting.
Dr Cortney Warren explained to Indy100: "Breadcrumbing is a manipulation tactic that only benefits one party - the breadcrumber enjoys the romantic attention they receive from you without having to truly invest in the relationship in any real way, as a committed partner would."
How can you stop it happening?
Confrontation is actually your best hope in this instance, with Dr Warren providing a real-life example of exactly how to ensure you're not simply being kept around with these titbits of endearment.
The psychologist suggested saying something like: "So I noticed that when I asked you to do something, you don't seem to respond positively. Or I noticed that when I send you a text message, you just send me an emoji back."
Another thing to try is: "If you want to have a relationship with me. I would like to be more proactive in seeing each other or communicating and if you don't, I just like to know that so that I can make better choices for myself."
However, it's worth remembering that while breadcrumbing is a relatively new term, it's probably been happening even since the days of setting letters by pigeon, and we've probably all been guilty of it at one point or another.
The expert said: "And so, having some perspective that all of us are on this journey, that sometimes we do things that hurt other people intentionally and sometimes we do them because we're just not very skilled at doing it another way or we're not strong enough in our own skin to tell the truth, or we're too afraid of hurting their feelings."
Topics: Dating trends
James Moorhouse