Woman had no idea how to tell 30-year-old daughter that her brother is actually her dad
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A woman has admitted that she had no idea how to tell her 30-year-old daughter that her brother was actually her dad.
This anonymous mum wrote into The Atlantic's Dear Therapist earlier this year to tell all surrounding her unbelievable story.
She began: "When I married my husband, he had two adult children, and I had none. We both wanted to have a child together, but my husband had a vasectomy after his second child was born—too long ago to get the procedure reversed."
As a result, the couple had to find a solution, though they had reservations about using a sperm bank.
So, instead they asked the husband's son to be the donor; you can see where this is going, can't you?
"We felt that was the best decision: Our child would have my husband’s genes, and we knew my stepson’s health, personality, and intelligence. He agreed to help," she explained.
"Our daughter is 30 now. How do we tell her that her 'father' is her grandfather, her 'brother' is her father, her 'sister' is her aunt, and her 'nephew' is her half-brother?
"My husband and I are anxious, confused, and worried about telling her. This is also hard on my husband, because he wants our daughter to know that he will always and forever be her father."
Well, how do you answer that?
Thankfully, columnist Lori Gottlieb, who is a qualified psychotherapist, was able to provide some kind of solution.
She said: "As you think about how to have an honest conversation, keep in mind that there are two truths your daughter will be absorbing simultaneously: First, the person she calls her brother is her biological father, and second, the people she calls her parents have deceived her for 30 years."
So, how do you go about telling some a life changing moment?
Lori started by advising the anonymous mum to 'state the facts as simply and clearly as possible', before the inevitable apology comes.
She then urged the mum 'take full responsibility' for not telling her daughter and making sure to not making any 'excuses'.
While it is important to tell the 'brother' involved, the psychotherapist also urged the woman to inform him if information is going to shared in case he wishes to tell the family of his own ahead of time.
Anyone else wishing they could be a fly on the wall when she breaks the news?