A woman has been urged to leave her husband because of some of his bad habits, which range from the gross right through to the utterly bizarre.
Anyone who is in a relationship will know that there are little things about your significant other that grind your gears.
However, for the most part, they tend to be very small things that you can overlook because of the weight of good stuff that they do, and the things that you really actually do like about them.
In this case, there would have to be some serious mitigating circumstances, simply because of the number of red flags about this bloke.
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Of course, we have to take all of this with a pinch of salt, simply because it comes from Mumsnet, but perhaps you’ll recognise some of the character traits that the woman is worried about.
Honestly, if it’s the thing about tea bags, get in touch – we’d love to hear from you.
Describing her husband’s ‘gross and unpleasant’ flaws, the woman started by describing his masturbation habits.
First, the preamble in which she said: "I'm going mad thinking my husband has some absolutely gross and unpleasant habits and I can't stand it anymore but feeling like I'm supposed to remember no-one is perfect.
“I've tried bringing these things up and talking to him nicely and also very firmly but I've got nowhere.
“I am too embarrassed to ask people in real life what they think and I want to know am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed?
“He's 31, we've been married for a year and his behaviour started going off after we got married."
On the w***ing front, the man apparently leaves a ‘pungent smell’ in the room which knocks her sick.
She said: "I'm old enough and have enough experience of men to know it's normal, but he thinks it's ok to w*** into the bedsheets when I'm out.
“I came back and noticed a pungent smell, sat down on the bed and realised my hand was on a damp patch.
"He kept doing it, I said something.
“He got really ratty and said it was impossible I could know and started accusing me of sniffing the bedsheets - that is gross! I definitely wasn't imagining it!"
But wait, it gets worse.
Apparently the man also just dumps dirty laundry everywhere, doesn’t shower often enough and doesn’t wash up after himself, but – and here’s the really bizarre part – he also throws tea bags at a freshly painted wall.
Yeah, that’s the real red flag – we’re dealing with a very strange puppy here.
On top of all this, he doesn’t even seem to like spending time with her, just ‘watches YouTube videos and reads all evening’.
The woman concluded: "I really don't understand what's going on.
“I've tried to ask him very tactfully if there's a problem, but he gets annoyed and insists there isn't.
“I tried suggesting counselling but he went ballistic so I don't think that's an option.
“Sometimes I feel I'm even detecting a hint of dislike/contempt for me but I have no idea why.
“I feel like I'm dealing with an angry teenage boy and I don't know how I didn't pick up on all of this sooner. Please help, I'm losing my marbles!"
Well, if it does help, most people seem to have told her that it’s time to get rid of him.
"What positives are there? He sounds like a nightmare and I can't see what you're getting from the relationship, sorry," asked one.
Another said: "Leave. As quickly as you can. As bloody quick as you can. The future there is grim."
Topics: Weird, Sex and Relationships
Tom Wood