A psychoanalyst has revealed the 'real reason' why men have affairs and it's got nothing to do with sex.
Juliet Rosenfeld - a UKCP-accredited psychoanalyst and author - believes she knows the the truth about why people feel the need to cheat.
While the nature of infidelity will always be up for debate, the London-based expert insists that she's worked with enough couples over the past 20 years to spot a 'common theme'.
In a column for the Daily Mail, she referenced a 2018 YouGov survey which suggested that one in five people cheat on their partner.
Advert
"Other studies have suggested that men have more affairs than women, but from my experience in the consulting room, I’m not sure that’s true," Juliet said.
"What I do believe is that men are unfaithful for different reasons from women."
She explained that although 'each case is unique', there happens to be a common reason her male patients tend to throw at her.
"And, contrary to what most people think, it’s never just about sex – or, as my distressed patient claimed, ‘because they can’," the psychotherapist wrote.
Advert
Her belief is that if you are someone who has been seriously affected by an affair, 'the roots of infidelity are usually laid down decades before it happens'.
Juliet's top five reasons why men have affairs
The cost-of-living crisis
"Financial pressures, careers stalling or ending, and other typical events of middle age – like the nest emptying, or caring for elderly parents – can make a man long for change or distraction," she explained.
Advert
"In my experience, economics can play a big role in affairs."
To escape depression
Juliet thinks that even if a man's depression has nothing to do with his partner, 'rarely can a partner fix it'.
She recalled one of her patients who would 'infidelity as his form of pain relief – to numb off the agony of his desperately lonely childhood that had burdened him all his life'.
To feel accepted
The feeling of not being accepted stems from childhood, Juliet says, and can carry on in relationships if it is not addressed.
Advert
"People who feel loved, seen and cared for do not have affairs," she said.
To avoid suffering
"For someone starved of affection and respect, a new relationship can emphasise the deficits of an unhappy one," the relationship expert notes.
"This does not excuse infidelity, which is still an act of betrayal whatever the circumstances, but it can mean it has a less harmful outcome."
To deny getting older
Without sounding 'cliche', Juliet reckons that men will seek to have an affair with someone younger because of their 'declining potency and attractiveness and are experiencing a sense of their own mortality'.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Anish Vij