Full list of 20 signs that suggest your partner is cheating as woman admits 14-year affair
As a woman admits to having a 14-year affair, it might be sparking a bit of fear over just how easily people seem to manage to get away with it.
Causing quite a fire storm of reaction, the 50-year-old went viral with her story as she even went as far as revealing her eight rules for keeping things on the down-low as she keeps her husband and kids in the dark.
And if you’re really paranoid about your partner doing you dirty too, then there’s even a private investigator who has opened up on the signs of cheating.
So with all of that combined, you’d think you’d have all the tools you’d need to catch out betrayal in your relationship. Well, you’d hope you do anyway.
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Private investigators’ most common signs
Tom Martin knows a thing or two when it comes to catching a cheater and even included his 20 ‘giveaway signs’ in the book, Seeing Life through Private Eyes.
But first off, he has four key things to look out for that suggest your partner might be straying.
First up, it’s if they’re suddenly spending a longer amount of time at work as Martin says any unexpected change in habit is worth taking note of.
And perhaps a textbook one, the private investigator says frequent ‘business trips may be a cause for concern. Again, if they’ve come out of nowhere, then take note.
Then, while fluctuations in how often you’re having sex is pretty normal, Martin claims it could also be a bit of a sign of unfaithfulness.
And finally, if your partner is getting very defensive, the expert says it’s a bit of a red flag that they’re hiding something.
Woman’s eight rules to ‘not get caught’
Now, we can easily draw some comparisons in Caroline’s story and Martin's rules as she revealed her rules to The Sun.
She meets up with her lover roughly every 10 days and neither of them have any intent to end their marriages and is guilty of often going on ‘work conferences’ – just as Martin suggested. But she says you shouldn’t be ‘greedy’ as if she saw more of him, then her husband may get suspicious.
So, her eight rules to avoid getting caught out by signs like the ones the private investigator highlights are as follows:
- Turn off apps that monitor location
- Tell only one confidante
- Stick to soft drinks as it's more business like
- Never mention new interests or change behaviour
- Expect the worst and always have an excuse
- Be vague and unavailable
- Choose a lover who is also married
- Don't get greedy with meet-ups
Martin’s full 20 signs
While the cheater might find it somewhat simple to follow Caroline's rules and keep their affair a secret, the private investigator has many things we can look out for in partners.
His full list of signs to keep an eye on if you’re suspicious in your relationship is:
- Sudden change of habits
- Leaving home early and coming back late - which is probably why Caroline turns off location monitoring, so keep an eye for that as well
- Numerous business trips
- Questionable holiday or family event absences
- A noticeable increase in overtime - just like how Caroline says not to be 'greedy'
- Unexplained spending
- Secret social media accounts (or emails)
- Hidden credit card bills
- Excessive grooming or self-care
- Smelling like someone else
- Buying presents you haven't seen
- Items that can't be explained - e.g. condoms in the car
- Suddenly joining a gym
- Missed calls from an unknown number
- Text messages that appear coded or secretive
- Less sex
- Evasiveness or defensiveness - again, just like how Caroline says to be 'vague' and have 'an excuse'
- They tell obvious lies
- Having a short temper - that goes with Caroline's 'expecting the worst'
- Dislike surprise visits (your unexpected arrival may come at an inconvenient time for a cheater)
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Jess Battison