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Woman who's had 14-year affair shares her eight rules to 'not get caught'

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Updated 14:21 25 Nov 2025 GMTPublished 10:11 25 Nov 2025 GMT

Woman who's had 14-year affair shares her eight rules to 'not get caught'

She doesn't have any plans to leave her husband

James Moorhouse

James Moorhouse

A woman who has been having an affair with the same man for 14 years has shared her rules for not getting caught.

Despite divorce being a thing for the past 350 years, with the first recorded divorce in the UK being between Lord Roos and Lady Anne Pierrepont in 1670 over the latter's infidelity, people these days are still choosing to cheat on their partners rather than simply splitting up.

While some folks are going down the more experimental routes of swinging, soft-swapping or hot-wifing to get their sex fix, others are sticking to the more traditional route of cheating on their husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends.

They say that people always find out about affairs, particularly if your partner goes on a sporadic solo trip to Magaluf, but others have managed to stay silent about their sexual subterfuge.

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A 50-year-old woman has now shared her story about how she's managed to sustain a sexual relationship with a married man for over 14 years, with her husband and two kids still seemingly clueless after 14 years.

She revealed her eight rules for avoiding suspicion in a piece for The Sun, and while you could argue that writing about it in a national newspaper is a surefire way to get caught, she has taken care to swap the names of those involved.

She's very much in love with the person she's having an affair with (Getty Stock)
She's very much in love with the person she's having an affair with (Getty Stock)

Caroline, as she calls herself in the piece, writes: "For 14 long years we’ve conducted our illicit affair - and we have no intention of stopping - I can’t imagine life without him. He’s my soulmate and I love him.

"For that reason I’ll never risk being discovered - which is why we’re both fiercely practical and, despite being in love, never get swept away by emotions. Love affairs that are wild and reckless get discovered."

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Having met at a work conference back in 2011, Caroline and Dan began their love affair, which has seen them meet up roughly every 10 days ever since, and neither shows any signs of stopping despite marriages at home.

She did face some guilt at first, particularly when her young children asked her about her 'work conferences' but her husband's unwillingness to change is what drove her to the arms of another man.

Caroline added: "I hugged my secret close, reliving those moments I’d spent with Dan, where I’d felt so liberated and sexy for the first time since having children. I knew I would see him again. And we’ve been meeting up every 10 days or so ever since."

Both people in the affair being married is key according to Caroline (Getty Stock)
Both people in the affair being married is key according to Caroline (Getty Stock)

She then goes on to explain that her first rule is not to be greedy, as seeing Dan more often could easily lead her to be discovered, as more reckless affairs are often the first ones to be found out.

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Her eight rules in full were.


  1. Turn off apps that monitor location
  2. Tell only one confidante
  3. Stick to soft drinks as it's more business like
  4. Never mention new interests or change behaviour
  5. Expect the worst and always have an excuse
  6. Be vague and unavailable
  7. Choose a lover who is also married
  8. Don't get greedy with meet-ups

Now, while they might work for her, there's no guarantee that they will work for you, and breaking up a relationship is probably always a better option than cheating. Especially if cheating means you can never mention a new interest or change anything about yourself ever again.

But it's clearly worked for Caroline, who concluded: "I thought the passion would wane or that I’d be overtaken by guilt and end it. Neither has happened.

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"The initial lust has turned into love — I adore every part of Dan, he makes me feel safe, loved and valued.

"Other than my children, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with."

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, Community

James Moorhouse
James Moorhouse

James is a NCTJ Gold Standard journalist covering a wide range of topics and news stories for LADbible. After two years in football writing, James switched to covering news with Newsquest in Cumbria, before joining the LAD team in 2025. In his spare time, James is a long-suffering Rochdale fan and loves reading, running and music. Contact him via [email protected]

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@JimmyMoorhouse

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