Jeremy Clarkson has revealed how he once got revenge on a trophy hunter by urinating in his shoes, saying he simply 'hated him on a cellular level'.
Writing in his recent Sunday Times column, Clarkson, 61, explained how he had been in Canada when he found himself in the company of a dentist who openly bragged about wanting to kill a polar bear for 'fun'.
Rather than rolling his eyes and mentally crossing the new acquaintance off his Christmas card list, the presenter decided to channel his frustration in a much more, ahem, physical way.
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Clarkson waited until the bloke had fallen asleep before he got his own back on behalf of the animal kingdom, recalling: "There are a great many dentists in America - and they're always dentists, for some reason - who like to shoot lions. Or elephants. Or rhinos.
"I met one once, in the frozen wilderness at the top of Canada. He was big in the tooth-whitening business and had taken a 'coupla fun weeks off' to blow a polar bear away.
"I hated him on a cellular level and must confess that one night, when he was asleep, I p***ed in his shoes."
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Along with hunters, it seems Clarkson also doesn't have much of an opinion for people who smoke weed.
In a recent interview with LADbible, he said he found weed fans 'boring', and that he usually just ends up going home if people around him are smoking it.
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Clarkson, who stars in new Amazon Prime Video series Clarkson's Farm - which sees him attempt to farm 1,000 acres of land in the Cotswolds - said: "We are allowed to grow hemp and things, but I won't because it's so right on and trendy.
"If you're at a party and someone brings a spliff out you just think, 'Christ they're just going to be boring for the rest of the evening.' I usually just go home."
However, it's not just the tedious company that drives him away, as Clarkson also admitted there's also the very real prospect of him pulling a whitey.
"Apart from anything else, if I go into a room and somebody's had a joint I get a white face and pass out.
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"Passive dope gives me a serious problem. I just don't hang around with people who partake, put it that way."
Clarkson's Farm was recently renewed for a second series, meaning you'll be able to get another fix of the broadcaster and his farming pal Kaleb.
Offering up a flavour of what we can expect from the next series, Amazon Prime Video said: "Viewers can expect a deeper insight into another year on Diddly Squat Farm as Jeremy aims to diversify, expanding his limited agricultural knowledge under the watchful eye of his no-nonsense team; tractor driver Kaleb, stone wall favourite Gerald, advisor 'Cheerful' Charlie, Jeremy's better-half-turned-farm-shop-keeper Lisa and many more.
"Series 2 promises to bring more laughs, triumphs and tribulations, and of course more farming faux pas, as we follow Jeremy & co on their agricultural adventure."
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