A hypnotherapist and pleasure coach has revealed some of the major things to look out for when it comes to lying in a relationship.
Whether we like it or not, lying can be a common thing in many romantic set ups and can often lead to major fall outs and sometimes, calling it quits.
From the more extreme forms such as cheating to the lesser eating of the last Rolo, there's a pretty big spectrum.
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You might get away with the latter but you're playing with fire if you do the other, and the same goes for plenty in-between.
Kate Shelor, a hypnotherapist from Las Vegas, has given her top tips on what you should be looking out for when it comes to lying in your relationship.
From giving advice on having enough sex in your relationship to fixing a porn addiction, Kate spends her days giving professional advice to those who seek it on some of the more intimate issues in life.
The American, who also does OnlyFans in her spare time, has even held 'hypnotic sex sessions' on spicy cruise ship - and yes they are exactly as they sound.
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On lying, some of Kate's tips on spotting it seem obvious while others are a little more nuanced, so it might be worth a deep dive if you are in a situation where you suspect something is afoot.
Body language, fiddling, blinking
"Pay attention to their body language, when people are lying they might avoid eye contact or look away frequently," Kate explains in a YouTube video on the issue.
"Touching or covering their mouth, nose or face. It can be a subconscious action when you are avoiding telling the truth. "Fiddling with objects, tapping a foot, shaking a leg, crossing arms or legs in a defensive posture. Leaning away from you is a way of trying to create physical distance."
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Other small things to pick up on are 'subconsciously blinking rapidly' and 'inconsistencies in their story'.
Rehearsed answers and the opposite
"If someone is lying their story might of course change over time because they'll struggle to remember the details of their
deception, including contradictory information that doesn't make sense or match up with other facts," Kate explained.
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Being 'overly rehearsed' is another red flag as it's just pretty weird when someone's story has no room to go off on tangents or flow naturally. You're not under oath, remember, so it's weird if someone is acting like they are.
On the flip side, having a lack of specific details and being 'super vague' because they 'don't want to give away too much' about what's been going on can look suspicious.
Liars also could see the tone of their voice change significantly, with the pitch going up when someone is telling porkies. Kate says: "That is a good way to tell that someone is very uncomfortable, also sounding super flat or monotone as if they're trying to suppress their emotions. That's a psychological sign that's a sign that something is going on that they're trying to suppress."
Asking open-ended questions
One way Kate says you could try and catch them out is by asking open-ended questions as they're much harder to answer than a simply yes or no.
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She says: "Open-ended ones require a more detailed answer and this can help you get a better sense of whether or not someone is telling the truth.
"So instead of 'did you steal the money' and 'no' - pretty simple, you don't get a lot out of that - but 'do you know what were you doing at the time the money was stolen' is a more open-ended question of course that sounds like a police interrogation but I think you understand the point."
Kate says one major sign you're in a toxic relationship comes down to changing the subject.
She says: "You change the subject, you make it about the other person. This happens a lot in toxic relationships so watch out for that. Same with becoming hostile and and angry when questioned is a sign that somebody is not comfortable with answering that question."
And on the flip side, some will use humour, sarcasm and jokes to bat off questions; something Kate refers to 'toxic anger'.
Topics: Sex Education, Sex and Relationships, US News, YouTube, Education
Tom Earnshaw