YouTube heavy-weight Jack Dean recently opened up about his ongoing battle with mental health, revealing that he thinks he’s dying around 15 times a day.
The 28-year-old, known as JaackMaate on YouTube, appeared on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO Podcast, during which he discussed the ins and outs of his long-standing social media career as well as delving into his personal life.
Jack opened up about his difficult childhood, detailing his challenging relationship with his mother as well as his dad, who went to prison for manslaughter after a pub fight when he was young.
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The social media star even told Steven that he is not able to go see a doctor for fear of what he may find out.
He said: "I really struggle with health anxiety and OCD. There are probably 15 to 20 times a day that I actually convince myself that I have cancer.
"It consumes my life. If an advert comes on for Cancer Research then I have to turn it off.
"My brain is telling me I have it, I'm ill. It has grown and taken so many tangents. I obsess over time and sunsets, oddly.
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"If I go and see the doctor and he says 'yeah, you're ill', then that's the end for me. I can't live with knowing I am ill.
"There's no recovery process. I would just shut down."
Steven aimed to reassure him, adding: "I think it's so great you are so open about this, there will be so many who can relate."
Jack has racked up nearly 1.5 million subscribers on YouTube, but says his mental health issues probably stem from a challenging childhood.
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He continued: "I didn't get on with my mum growing up. We're only on nodding terms at family events now, we've hardly seen each other for nine years.
"She didn't understand the potential in YouTube, in what I was doing [...] she kicked me out, I was living in my uncle's box room. Ever since that moment I took it seriously."
Taking about his school years, he confessed: "I was a bit of a p**** to teachers, I was bad to one in particular – I would love to reconnect with her.
"Being the ginger kid, I tried to fit in by being the class clown."
The podcast episode, entitled Jaackmaate: The Untold Story Of My Battle With Health Anxiety & OCD, is available to watch here.
Topics: YouTube, Social Media, Celebrity
Abbi Murray