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Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Health
Anish Vij
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Mental Health, Health
The 'red flags' of dating always seem to pop on TikTok but we rarely hear about the 'yellow flags'.
Quite clearly, red flags are the extreme no-nos of dating as they are often used in conversations around toxic or abusive relationships.
But by now we all know what a red flag is on a date - badmouthing your ex, being rude to waiters, crying on your first date - yep we've heard it all.
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But what if I told you that you can avoid a red flag all together if you can spot a yellow one.
Although yellow flags are a lot more subjective in nature, it is still important to proceed cautiously.
Licensed master social worker, Jillian Amodio, told VeryWell Mind.com that while yellow flags 'might not be deal breakers or major issues', they could be a sign of something larger on the horizon.
And here's some to watch out for.
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1) They spend all their time with you
If you're in the beginnings of a relationship, for example, and your partner wants to spend all of their time with you, then watch out.
As Laura Wasser, family law expert and chief of divorce evolution at Divorce.com explained: “If someone becomes too dependent on their partner, it can be a yellow flag, signalling an unhealthy dynamic that may lead to excessive pressure or an imbalance in the relationship.”
2) Your partner is unwilling to compromise
When you're picking a place to go for dinner, for example, and the person you are seeing is insistent on one particular restaurant, then that could be an issue.
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“If one partner is unwilling to compromise or meet the other halfway on important issues, it can be a yellow flag." licensed social worker Pia Johnson says.
"A healthy relationship requires both partners to be willing to listen and work together to find solutions that work for both.”
It really is a two-way street.
3) Has no hobbies or interests
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If your partner has no interests or hobbies outside of the relationship then it could be a symptom of anxiety or depression.
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4) They have no friends
Similarly, if they also have no other friends that might be something to discuss as it could suggest an inability to maintain healthy relationships.
5) They have a history of failed relationships
Sadly, someone who has a history of failed relationships might need to work on themselves before you try to 'fix' them.
“Sometimes people are just unlucky in love and sometimes there is a pattern that can be clearly identified in understanding why so many relationships begin to come apart at the seams,” Amodio explains.
Adding: “Is there a pattern that points to concerning behaviors such as rushing to commit, not being able to commit, controlling behaviors, lying or manipulation, cheating, substance abuse, etc.?”
6) Constantly withholds information
If your partner isn't sharing any necessary information with you, big or small, then Wasser says it could 'indicate trust or communication issues' that is best to address as soon as possible.
7) They don't respect boundaries
Boundaries are, of course, unique to each person and it is important to establish them pretty soon.
And if your significant other has no issue ignoring them, then it could show a lack of care on their part towards your feelings.
8) They aren't close or too close to family members
If your significant other isn't very close to their family, then there maybe a legitimate reason why - for example, they could have had a traumatic childhood or have troubled history with their family.
But if you don't know, then best to clarify with your partner.
While on the other side, if they are too close it could impact your relationship as you could worry they won't have time for you or open the door for the family to become a part of it.
It is recommended to share your feelings and try to find a compromise.
9) They have consistent debt
Debt is an unpleasant aspect of life that can impact people in different ways - but it might be something to address how your partner ended up in that situation - especially if they have bad spending habits and a lax attitude towards money.
As mentioned, yellow flags are subjective and are only worth picking up on if you think it might help your relationship.