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A cat in China had to be placed on a glucose drip after having sex with at least five females in one night at a pet hotel.
... Potentially my favourite opening line of an article ever right there.
The Russian Blue, which is a kind of posh cat (the kind which stays at hotels), took full advantage of his night away from home, because you know what they say - when the cat's away, the cat will play.
However, it seems Xiaopi overcooked it a little, with his bonking escapades leaving him so knackered he had to be hooked up to a glucose drip. To make matters worse for Xiaopi, his horny hotel rampage was all caught on CCTV, so when his owner returned he couldn't pretend that he had been hitting the treadmill really hard or something.
Fortunately though for Xiaopi, his owner held no grudges against him, as he isn't neutered, and you know, there was plenty of temptation for him. But Mr Zhao, from Guangzhou, the capital of Guangdong Province in South China, was less understanding of the pet hotel, who he was furious with for letting Xiaopi roam freely around the hotel.
In a furious (but hilarious) rant on social media, Mr Zhao said: "I thought they'd be professional, but the staff member didn't feed him during the day, and let him out to roam freely at night. That's right - all the cats were free to walk around the shop, and then the employee went home.
"Between around 10:40pm and 5am, my cat mated with five female cats! And those are only the ones I could see in the CCTV footage.
"And the pet hotel had the nerve to be upset with me, saying some of the cat owners weren't planning on having kittens. They wanted me to explain the situation to all the other owners.
"My f*****g cat is now exhausted and on a glucose drip - and this is my fault?"
Mr Zhao said the hotel later apologised, offering to pay for his drip treatment and compensate the owners of any cats Xiaopi managed to impregnate.
He said: "They're going to compensate each pregnant cat's owner 500 RMB (56 GBP), and have promised to sell any kittens on their behalf.
"The other owners have also told me they'll either give me a kitten or 1,000 RMB (113 GBP) if their cats really turn out to be pregnant."
What. A. Night.
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