Sex therapist explains what men should do if they're struggling with erectile dysfunction
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The unnamed man disclosed that he suspects he suffers from performance anxiety, and while it doesn't happen 'all the time', it's happened frequently enough for it to cause him grief.
He even tried to snag a bottle of Viagra, but, to his dismay, he was still unable to get hard.
He added that he could get hard during foreplay but would lose his erection right before sex.
"Part of being a penis owner is accepting that sometimes you will lose your erections and sometimes you will c*m early," she began.
"So, if you meet someone and you develop a good repertoire with them, so you might be able to maintain your erection the first time and then from there on you stop stressing and you go, 'This is gonna be great, let's enjoy ourselves'."
She continued: "But if that doesn't happen, there's a real element of performance anxiety that you start stressing about."
The man shared that he's developed social anxiety due to his erectile dysfunction disorder.
"I think that I'm a little socially awkward internally, specifically when meeting up with girls; I get quite deterred from doing that because I know that if things do well and I do like this girl, I think too far ahead," he said.
"I think, 'Well, eventually we're going to be intimate, and is this gonna be a problem'.
Otten then advised at the root of the man's issues with sex lies his performance anxiety.
However, she said that to tackle his snowballing anxiety-ridden thoughts, he must instead focus on what 'feels good' during intercourse.
"It's about sensory experience, right? So if you're going to have sex with someone, think about, 'Ok, what do they smell like? What does their skin feel like? What do I like about their body? Can we breathe in sync now,'" she said.
Otten added he needed to focus on 'pleasure, not performance'.
The sex therapist also told the man to often check in with his partner to see what their sexual preferences are to get the validation he requires.
She said mixing in 'a lot of kissing and snuggling' to form a deeper connection with his partner would help alleviate his anxiety.
"That seems to work well for you, and I think it's actually ok for you to ask for that in your erotic relationships, and [it] may help with your comfort levels and, therefore, your performance anxiety," Otten said.
You can listen to more episodes of the Sex Therapy podcast on Audible.