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A man has done two things none of us will ever do: won £4.2 million from an £8 bet, and turned up to work after winning £4.2m from an £8 bet.
Sean Doyle, from County Down, Northern Ireland, placed the bet on Paddy Power's online game Mars Attacks on Wednesday night - scooping up the biggest online win in the company's history.
But instead of going absolutely fucking apeshit as the quids rolled in - which obviously he should have done - he went to bed and got well rested before his 9am start in the kitchen at the Artisan Cookhouse.
In hospitality, Valentine's Day is one of the busiest of the year, which for some would be all the more reason to sack it off, but Mr Doyle didn't want to let down his colleagues.
The 33-year-old - who had been playing the game for around six months - said he couldn't watch as the money streamed in.
He said: "I watched it until it reached about £1m on the count thing and I switched off my phone. I couldn't look. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes after I saw the final amount!"
Now obviously, you don't know how you would react in such a situation until it happens to you, but this all seems bizarrely calm. No, money isn't everything, but fancy turning off your phone in that predicament and then getting up for work at 8am the next day... We do not understand you Mr Doyle.
Once he could eventually be arsed to check the grand total, it had reached £4,283,863.55 ($5.5m).
Mr Doyle said he is going to use the dough to help out his family and start his own business.
He said: "You wouldn't believe the amount of people's lives I'm going to change with this win.
"My sister is a single parent in New Zealand with three kids so I'm delighted because this means I will be able to help her out. I also have three brothers, my parents and a few aunts and uncles too.
"I might set up my own shop, probably a café, which would mean I can down scale and relax more."
Relax more? Really? Says Captain Relaxed, the guy who turns his phone off as millions pour into his account. Jeez.
A spokesman for Paddy Power congratulated Mr Doyle and encouraged potential suitors to get in line.
He said: "Roses are red, violets are blue, we found out Sean is single, so get in the queue!
"We're used to being down a few quid after Valentine's Day but this record breaking win takes the biscuit.
"We're absolutely thrilled for Sean and the fact that he was sound enough to turn up for work for his bosses, Alister and his son Cormack Evans, the next morning makes the thought of his success all the sweeter."
Congrats, Mr Doyle... now, to see what this Mars Attacks business is all about.
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