Technology is a marvellous thing, really, isn't it? And given the speed with which it's advancing, the human race is surely mere months away from a horrendously miffed cyborg takeover à la one of the Terminator movies that was actually good. To be fair, taking the fact that someone has just released the Kim K sex tape as a full-on VR experience into account, it's probably what we collectively deserve.
Yup, a fully immersive virtual reality celebrity bongo movie. That's the world we live in.
Okay, perhaps I'm being harsh here. I'm not totally against this newfangled 360 degree Kardashianfiddle-tech per se. Being a young, single guy, I'm likely the target audience for what I'm now dubbing Cockulus Rift. It's just that something about it gives me the creeps.
Actually, two things about it sends the shivers through me: one being the thought of Ray Jay sitting there, staring me directly in the eyes, chewing gum intensely whilst coercing me to "go hard" or whatever it is he's mumbling "pre-game". That and the inevitable harrowing post-tug comedown.
You know exactly what I'm talking about: the weird tsunami of shame that engulfs one's entire body when the party's over, the lights come on and it's time to head home. It's that very same sombre, contemplative state of consciousness that envelops your entire body and soul after destroying one of those budget all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets that seem to always be located right by a big train station. You don't NEED to eat ten spring rolls but you do it anyway, don't you? Transporting you into a trancelike haze of both nausea and regret.
Now just imagine how much worse that same post-vid comedown is going to feel when you have the bloody video strapped to your face. Much, much worse. Also, you'll definitely be feeling a bit guilty about the fact you've paid Vivid Entertainment, the company that reportedly splurged five million dollars for the original tape, $119.97 (probably about £2 given Brexit :/ ) for a year's access to this cutting-edge cinematic experience. Does anyone really need it for a year?
But, hey, who are we to judge? Maybe this fully immersive encounter with Kim K (heavily bulked out with an actress lookalike) is just what your 'romantic dinner for one' needed? Have a hard time imagining it being on Ye's Christmas list, if I'm to be brutally honest.
Featured Image Credit: PA Images
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