Adult with ADHD says condition impacts sex life in one huge way
A person with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has revealed the one way the condition impacts their sex life, with many agreeing that they experience it too.
ADHD impacts around three million people in the UK, per ADHD UK, as the NHS explains that adults with ADHD often struggle with many things others find easy.
These can be things like organisation, time management, following instructions, focusing, completing tasks and coping with stress.
However, people with ADHD can suffer from other symptoms, though, which include aspects of their sex lives.
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In particular, one person with the condition has revealed a little-known issue that ADHDers face, with many in the comments agreeing that they have had similar experiences.
The person, who wrote a post on Reddit, first began with a question to see if anyone else had the same problem.
They wrote: “Sex and ADHD: how does ADHD effect your sex life?”
After speaking with a ‘sex therapist’ friend, the person went on to share how they revealed that people with ADHD can struggle with orgasming, as their minds keep ‘getting distracted’ without being able to ‘shut it off’.
The person wrote: “It sounds silly at first but we got in-depth on the conversation and apparently it’s a real thing. Since this is anonymous, I’m hoping people will be open about how ADHD affects their sex life.”
According to others on the thread, this is a very real thing that some with ADHD struggle with, and users even described being totally unable to orgasm unless they concentrate on it.
One person wrote: “Honestly I’ve gotten to a point where I can’t really finish without fantasizing to some degree or it’s not enjoyable at all.”
Another said: “I am either so distracted that I don’t have that much fun, or I hyper focus on the physical sensations, and I become a ravenous sexual being. There is no inbetween. Molding my eyes when I am starting to feel close helps me not get distracted as much.”
The user went on to clarify that they meant to say ‘closing’ their eyes, not molding. Honestly, it makes more sense.
According to another, they get bored of sex because of their ADHD, and they are also distracted, stating: “Female here I have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sex and am really easily distracted but can finish if my partner is patient enough. I also find my libido is great in beginning of relationship and then, like every other activity in my life, I get bored. I’m starting meds next week so hopefully they help.”
Another user went on to say that they get an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ issue when it comes to sex, where they forget to ‘initiate a lot’.
However, they said once they get going, they remember how much they enjoy it.
So, why does this happen?
According to a 2022 study on PubMed, people with ADHD are more likely to develop sexual dysfunction or other sexual disorders than other people.
In Flow, an ADHD management app, claims that this is caused by a range of ADHD factors, like distractibility, overstimulation or understimulation, problems with time management, and having a motivation-deficit.
To help with this, many self-help blogs like Healthline, suggests taking all distractions out of the bedroom, work on being in the moment, and even doing calming exercises together to clear your mind prior to sex.
Also, prioritising sex can help a person to focus on it more.
Obviously, those tips won’t work for everyone, so finding your own flow is key.
Topics: ADHD, Sex and Relationships
Britt Jones