Dating expert explains the huge mistake 'every single person' makes in relationships

There is one big mistake that both men and women could be making when it comes to dating and it’s almost certain to make you miserable.

It’s a hard time to be dating right now.

Not only are you competing with other people, but you need to make sure that you’re happy enough within yourself before embarking on a journey with someone else.

These things just aren’t easy.

However, when you decide that you’re ready to settle down, and you’re looking for that special someone, you might be making a huge mistake.

This is because you might find that you’re thinking with your ‘ego’ and not about what you need.

Matthew Hussey shared the one mistake you might be making (TikTok/@matthewhussey)

According to dating expert, Matthew Hussey, there’s one big mistake everyone could fall into and not even realise it.

“The mistake I think both of us make- men and women- is going into a date, trying to get someone, instead of thinking about who it is we’re getting.”

He explained in his TikTok video that a lot of the time, it comes from our own insecurities.

'That’s something that happens to a lot of people’ as they take ‘months’ of work just trying to obtain this person, but when they get them, they soon realise that they make ‘them miserable’.

The dating expert went on to say that this will occur when someone thinks, ‘I just need to see if I can have this person’, and treats it more like a game than recognising that you’re actually trying to find someone who will be your life partner - not a commodity.

So, this could be if a person is looking for love, and they write up a superficial check list.

This list could be that the one they’re hoping to find has long hair, natural features, well taken care of, a toned body, a successful job, their own car and home and so on and on.

First, do you just want someone with those things, or do you also want someone who actively works at maintaining those things?

It’s easy to give out physical attributes as something to attain in a person, but do you recognise that a person with a fit body will be dedicated to exercise and healthy eating, taking care of themselves and also working incredibly hard at their job.

If you just want someone with all of those things but with a personality that likes junk food, and lying on the sofa, then the lifestyle isn’t going to be for you.

Ergo, you need to look at the person and not these things that are a checklist to you.

Or, on the other hand, you might become incredibly set on being with this one person who you believe is the whole package, and your goal is more to have him or her than it is to be their life partner.

Nobody wants to be a trophy partner, and you might find that you’re bored when you are finally successful and there’s no challenge left.

“What feeds your ego and what makes you happy are two different things in love,” explained Hussey.

He shared that just wanting someone because they are a challenge or something to claim isn’t going to work out in your favour.

Instead, you need to think about ‘what are the qualities (of a person) that will make me happy?’

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