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Life coach shares first sign you may be living with a narcissist

Home> Community

Published 11:51 23 Apr 2024 GMT+1

Life coach shares first sign you may be living with a narcissist

There's a few things to watch out for

Joe Harker

Joe Harker

A life coach has laid out the five warning signs to be on the lookout for if you suspect you're living with a narcissist.

There's all sorts of things to look out for, and even some narcissists have pointed out the clues to pick up on.

A 'self-aware narcissist' said that a narcissist wouldn't want you to be happy or successful, while an expert spoke about the 'Uno reverse' card you could play on them.

In this case, life coach Mark Fennell has explained how you can spot a narcissist based off the signs which could crop up during an argument with them.

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"It couldn't be my fault, it's always everyone else." (Getty Stock Photo)
"It couldn't be my fault, it's always everyone else." (Getty Stock Photo)

They always 'play the victim'

Taking to TikTok, he explained that the first sign you needed to look out for was them trying to 'play the victim'.

He said: "Number one, they play the victim. Because they are a victim of what happened, they're not the cause of anything whatsoever.

"They're always the victim and they'll always play the victim card."

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If you're locked in an argument with a narcissist, then the life coach says they'll attempt to position themselves as the victim because in their minds they're the one who has been wronged.

If they're trying to turn the argument back on you it could be a sign. (Getty Stock Photo)
If they're trying to turn the argument back on you it could be a sign. (Getty Stock Photo)

It's never their fault

That rather neatly takes us onto the life coach's next point, as Mark said that a narcissist would spout denial in an attempt to ward off anything that could be seen as their fault.

He explained that 'they will always deny everything and anything that points at them as being a cause'.

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The live coach explained that a narcissist would 'never take ownership and they will never take responsibility' for things they'd done, so instead you'd get a denial.

"It's not my fault, now let's talk about some of my problems with you instead." (Getty Stock Photo)
"It's not my fault, now let's talk about some of my problems with you instead." (Getty Stock Photo)

Deflecting blame back on you

Later on in the argument you might 'suddenly you'll find that the conversation is becoming about you and not them'.

Have you ever been in an argument with someone only for them to flip it back onto you and start talking about the problems they've got with you?

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It could be a sign of a narcissist.

Gaslighting

If it can't be denied or deflected then it could still be changed, as Mark explained that a narcissist struggling in an argument could resort to gaslighting to 'make you doubt how you perceive the situation'.

He said that you might hear phrases such as 'it wasn't like that' or 'I didn't mean it like this' in an attempt to 'make you doubt what you believed happened and how you would call what happened'.

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If you don't back down the gaslighting will kick in. (Getty Stock Photo)
If you don't back down the gaslighting will kick in. (Getty Stock Photo)

They get aggressive

"When the other four options haven't worked for them they will become attacking and aggressive," the life coach explained about the final resort for narcissists.

"This is to intimidate you and make you back off."

If all else has tried and failed then you could expect to see a much more aggressive response.

Featured Image Credit: Lionsgate / Getty Stock Photo

Topics: Mental Health

Joe Harker
Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

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@MrJoeHarker

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